Recent picture.

A recent picture taken of me.. in the bathroom at the McDonald's in Wayland. Haha. I couldn't resist. I thought I was looking particularly skinny. =D

Uh, what?

Heather informed me today that the bouquet I made for her to carry in the wedding.. and that turned out amazing I might add.. was chewed to shreds by her dog. Oh well, at least we have pictures of it, right?

Blah.

Newer pictures of me.

Some pictures of me with my niece, Genna. Taken on October 6th, 2008.

Wedding preview pictures -

Some pictures from the professional photographer, Amber. She sent a few as a preview. The rest will be ready soon.

It's been a long time since an update, hasn't it?

Well, what has happened in the past month? Quite a bit!

We had the wedding for Heather and Ken. That went very well. I have many pictures on my Flickr.. from candids to professional ones. We are still waiting on the majority of the professional ones. The photographer shot the entire thing for free and has sent a sampling of some of the pictures.. they are great!

Well, what else? Heather's sister, Amanda, has moved into the rental house next door to us with her husband, kids, my nephew Aaron, and my SIL Kerry. Quite the group. They moved into the house last week and are still getting settled.

Two days ago, I had to have my gallbladder taken out. That's right, another surgery. Bleh. I wish it could have been done during my DS surgery in April, but it was healthy then. I thought I had been having some gas pains last week, but they didn't go away on their own. I ended up calling MMPC, and they sent me for some lab work and an ultrasound of the gallbladder based on the symptoms I described. Sure enough, my gallbladder was filled with stones and sludge. Yucky. I had to wait over the weekend to get it taken out. Lortab was a good friend of mine in the meantime. Ha. Things are going well with recovery. I am just taking it easy and getting some rest. I have caught up on putting some pictures online and some blogging (see? haha).

As far as weight loss, things are going well. I am at about 150 pounds lost from my highest weight. Not bad. I am fitting into smaller clothes all the time. John and I went to have dinner with my parents one evening, and my mom told me how beautiful I was. Wow, that was something out of the ordinary to hear from her, for sure.

If you know me at all, you know I am an avid texter. I got a new phone.. a Pantech Duo. It is a 2-way slider with a full keyboard. I love it. The only way it could be any awesomer would be if the phone was pink. It is a burgundy color.. it doesn't come in pink. That's okay though. I do love it so. Haha. Seriously, I do like it.

That's all for now. A month's summary.. maybe there will be more to say later.

Weight loss update and update on migraines.

Been a few days since an update, right? Busy, busy.

First, I had an appointment on 9/2/08 with my PCP. She was stunned and excited by my weight loss and congratulated me numerous times. I was there to hopefully get help with my recent issue with migraines. I wrote before about it.. I have been having them 3-4 times a week now. I hadn't had a serious one in probably 15 years or so. I talked to my doctor about it, and she wanted me to come in so she could help me with it. She ended up prescribing Topamax for prophylaxis and Imitrex for rescue when a headache comes on. WELL.. that was amazing for her to do that.. however, the copay for each of those is $50. The Topamax was for a supply for a month, and the Imitrex was for only 9 pills. Uh.. yeah right. I called the office back, and I ended up getting verapamil.. a generic with a much lower copay.. and still Imitrex for rescue but with 50 pills this time instead of 9. That is more like it. I can deal with that. The doctor herself actually called me twice to try to get things figured out after I had talked to her nurse a couple times. She really is awesome. I don't know how common it is for doctors to actually call you themselves.. but that impresses me.

A week later, I had my "3 month" followup appointments at MMPC despite the fact I am more than 4 months out from surgery. I am doing exceptionally well and feeling amazing, so I don't mind that the followup was a little late. The exercise guy was impressed with my overall activity level and loss so far. He is fun to talk with and genuinely seems like he cares about his job. The next appointment was the nutritionist.. and wow. It was a group appointment, which I was fine with, but the people all had had either RNY or Lap banding. The recommendations that the nutritionist was giving were so not really for me. She was telling them that they had to start taking calcium.. uh, okay.. I have been taking 2 calcium + vitamin D pills 4 times a day since I was like a week out from surgery. With all the vitamins and medications, I am up to 19 pills a day. There were some people in that meeting literally near tears thinking about having to take these pills. Also, I got my labs back.. my iron is borderline low but the PA was not concerned about that yet.. watchful waiting for that I guess. My vitamin B12 is trending toward the low end of things, so I have to supplement with 1,000 mcg a day with that. My vitamin D is now at 39.. which is actually good news. Preoperatively, it was nine. Yes, just nine. The PA explained that vitamin D deficiency is common in the majority of people in society. I am taking 50,000 IU in dry form now, so it is working and going up as it should. Good news.

My weight loss since the day of surgery is 78 pounds now, and a total of 139 pounds from my highest weight last year. Just a year ago at this time, I was in the hospital just having been diagnosed with diabetes and freaking out about life in general. I have come a long way since then, for sure. I have lost a whole person.. and I am still headed in the right direction toward my goal. If I had hopes for myself back then, I have far surpassed them now. I am actually proud of myself, and that is a very good feeling.

We have been occupied with planning for Heather and Ken's wedding. It's coming up quick on September 20th. We are all going out this weekend for a group bachelor/bachelorette party and a general good time. I can't wait. I am also going to visit and spend some time with my mom on Sunday, just me and her. We haven't done that in years. SHE invited ME.. sort of shocking. It's the first time she has invited me to do anything in.. wow.. I don't even know how long. A very fun and exciting weekend awaits!!

Holiday weekend!

I have the weekend off.. awesome!

I am working some overtime on Saturday though.. it won't be all day. I can't take 10 extra hours.. maybe 5-6. The money will be nice.

On Sunday, I am headed to visit my parents and I am also getting together with a friend that I knew in high school and college. She randomly sent me a message on Facebook.. it will be nice to catch up.

Monday, John and I are going to Natasha's for a BBQ.

We have decided that Tuesday is our day to stay home and catch up on organizing and cleaning. The summer has been busy with the move, trying to do fun things, working, and getting a new car. We need to get the house back in order. We have been going to do fun things and neglecting our chores. Bad, bad. Haha.

That's about all for now. Nothing too exciting, right? I have my visit with my PCP on Tuesday for my problems with headaches and my appointment with the surgeon on the 9th for my "3 month" checkup even though it is more than 4 months since I had surgery. Maybe they meant 3 months from my last appointment at 6 weeks out? I dunno. I just got my lab work done today for the surgeon's appointment, so I am hoping it will be done and to their office for my appointment on the 9th.

First dress and second dress.

My niece, Heather, is getting married on 9/20/2008. We are very good friends as well as being family. We are close in age.. I am just 6 years older than her. She has asked me to be in the wedding (among others). She decided on black and white for the colors as well as a splash of lime green because that was her daughter, Veronica's, favorite color when she was still with us.

There are 3 ladies standing up with Heather - me, her friend Danna, and my GMIL who is 94. We are all getting black and white dresses.. not necessarily matching. Deb had an amazing sale on prom-type dresses. The first one.. I loved it the minute I saw it. It does fit me.. but it is TIGHT. After getting it home and trying it on again, I was a little leery about it. I am only going to be losing weight at this point.. but I didn't want to have to wear that skin tight dress all day and be uncomfortable. Heather's friend Danna ended up taking it, and it does fit her better. She is more comfortable in it. The second dress, I got it at a different Deb store. It is MUCH more comfortable, and I really am looking forward to wearing it now!

Dress #1. I paid $15.80 for it. Not bad, right?

Dress #2 and what I will be wearing.. I paid under $20 for this one.. I think $19.88 or something. Still an awesome deal. They were both marked down from well over $100. This mostly black one is far more slimming than the white of the first one. You could see every ripple of my body - NOT cute. This one has a white sheath type dress underneath and then the black satin over which makes everything smooth. I just love it!

Pictures of the Trailblazer.

As promised.. pictures of the new bus.. I mean SUV.. we bought on Monday.

..

I didn't get any more sleep this morning before work. We were discussing and rediscussing things regarding Heather's wedding. We want to have it at the house, but the more we think about it.. the less we are feeling 100% sure about doing it at home. It's a lot of people, and we plan to serve alcohol. That could lead to a whole host of problems.

We booked a park out in Dutton. We get it from 7am until dusk for $50 for the day. Not a bad price. Let's hope for some stellar weather that day. Keep your fingers crossed.

Migraines. Blah.

For the past couple of weeks, I have had 2-3 migraine headaches per week. I used to get them all the time when I was younger.. but it's been years since I have had a bad one. I was prescribed Compazine and Benadryl, which does work very well.. but it makes me DEAD tired for like 12 hours. I can't function like that. I need to be able to work and carry out my daily life. I have an appointment to see my doctor about it on September 2, 2008. I am hoping she can start me on a maintenance dose of something so I don't have to worry about a headache coming on when I am working or in the middle of driving.

I then have my followup appointments for 3-month followup for MMPC on September 9, 2008. That is an all day thing with 3 appointments with the nutritionist, the PA, and the exercise physiologist. If it were up to me, I would cancel with the nutritionist. I don't get any benefit from those meetings. They don't cater to the DS patients.. it's very RNY based.

I need some more sleep for a long day of work.

Not a bad deal..

If you are a regular reader or you have caught up and read back on posts, you know that we just recently bought our first home. We have been getting offers for refinancing our car as well. We decided to go and look to see what is out there and what they could do for us as far as paying off our current car and all.

We previously bought from a local Chevrolet dealership in Wyoming, MI. The guy that worked there who sold us our Impala works at a Saturn dealership in Holland now. He sent us a letter not too long ago to offer to see what he could do for us. Keep in mind, it has only been 2 years since we bought the Impala.. not very long at all. We did in fact go out to the Saturn dealership but we made it there on an evening when they happened to be closing at 6pm, so we decided we would go back another day. In the meantime, some things happened as far as personal and family issues, so we really didn't talk too much more about the car for about a week.

This week, we decided we would head over to the Chevrolet dealership on 28th Street here in GR, Berger. Again, we really had no intention of buying a car.. we were just exploring options. We got there and met a fabulous salesman. He was patient with us, and we actually test drove 3 different things.. a Chevy Uplander (a van), a Buick something SUV with 3rd row seating, and a Chevy Trailblazer. We loved the Uplander instantly. It was the van that we wanted and the space we have been missing since we downgraded to a car a couple years ago. We obviously don't have kids of our own yet, but we are always doing something with family and friends.. most of them DO have children. Not having to take 2 cars everywhere was our main motivation.

We were about to head into the dealership when I saw this awesome.. AWESOME.. Trailblazer. It was huge but gorgeous and has 7 passenger seating. We test drove it and loved it even more. It is loaded with a CD changer, DVD player, power everything.. you name it, it has the option. It was considerably more than the Uplander, but we were expecting to take on a higher payment if we were going to go with something bigger anyway.

We went into the haggling process for the Trailblazer. We weren't even sure at that point what they were going to give us in trade for the Impala. Like I mentioned, we still owed a lot on it.. so we were wary about hearing what they were going to offer. At first, he tried to get us to agree to a payment of $544 a month. I was speechless. That would have been almost doubling our payment. WOW. Yeah, no. He was also asking for a $2,000 down payment. We were about ready to just leave right then. We were calm though and just said that none of that was going to be possible. We talked him down some more and also got quite a bit taken off the price of the vehicle. They are taking crazy low prices on SUVs.. with gas prices the way they are, people are not buying them. It's not as much of an issue for us.. the Impala got about 28-30 MPG and this gets 23-25 MPG. That would be a huge difference for somebody who commutes a lot.. but I have no commute at all, and John uses our other truck to go to work. We also got the Impala paid off with only a small portion needed to be tacked onto the new loan. The interest rate wasn't bad either. A funny coincidence.. the finance specialist at Berger used to work at Courtesy Dodge and helped us get our van about 8 years ago. We had no idea it was him until we saw him. If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be where we are now with our credit. When we bought again, we had gone back to look for him, but he didn't work at Courtesy anymore. Now we know why.. he was over at Berger. Ha.

We are now the proud new owners of an awesome 2005 Chevrolet Trailblazer. We just love it.. I think I mentioned that already.

This had to be the EASIEST car purchase ever. I think maybe because we didn't NEED a car.. we were more relaxed and had an easier time of things. We got to the dealership at about noon, ran some errands in the afternoon, and came back to sign everything at about 5pm. By 6pm, we were on the road with our new vehicle. Very quick and painless. Honestly, I didn't think we would get the deal we did or the financing. I mean, we just financed the house.. so our debt to income ratio is high.

The night we got it, it started making some horrible metal on concrete noise under the passenger side of the front end. We took it back to the dealership.. of course, it wouldn't make the noise while it was there and they had it. They had it all day, so we were driving a 2007 Grand Prix as a loaner for the day. Nice car.. small, but a nice car. It did have over 55,000 miles on it.. for a 2007? Someone must have been crisscrossing the country with that thing. We have the Trailblazer back now, and it's been perfect with no noises at all. It was documented though, so if we have a problem at some point, they will be taking care of it.

That is the end of the new car saga. I will get some pictures to post soon while it is still shiny and new!

My new haircut and finding a dress for my niece's wedding!

I went with Gwen to get my hair cut on Saturday.. it was fabulous! I love how my hair turned out.. it's easy to take care of and feels awesome too. Gwen's turned out so cute as well. She got highlights that I am now contemplating as well. They looked so cute. I am a hair color virgin though, so that's a big step for me.

After our cuts and lunch, I left Gwen and went to meet my nieces, Heather and Amanda, for dress shopping for Heather's wedding. Heather and Ken are getting married at our house, in the yard, at the end of September. It's actually on Veronica's birthday to sort of commemorate and remember and for them to have a fresh start. I am standing up with Heather, her friend Danna, and my GMIL who is 94 will also be up there with us! Heather's sister, Amanda, is going to be wrangling the kids in a wagon down the aisle and keeping them together. John is walking Heather down the aisle (so sweet), and my BIL is actually becoming ordained for the occasion so he can perform the ceremony for them. Definitely a family affair, as usual for us!

So, since I am going to be in the wedding, I needed a dress. In the past, this has been a sore subject for me.. clothes shopping. I didn't fit into normal sizes.. of course.. and sometimes not even the plus sizes that some stores had. Most of my shopping has been online for years. Heather had gone with Danna on Friday to Deb and they found some decent dresses for very cheap so we headed back there on Saturday for Amanda and myself. I had no idea what size I was.. I am finally actually dropping sizes, so it was going to be a trial and error thing. The colors for the wedding are black and white.. and Deb had a HUGE selection of black and white dresses. They must be doing some kind of clearance of maybe last year's prom dresses or homecoming dresses. Ones that had been marked at over $100 were now $25, $20, and sometimes lower.. PLUS another 25% off THAT. Where can you find a very formal dress for less than $20? Deb! Haha. I tried on a few dresses.. and there was one that I had not tried on yet but I just LOVED it. I was sure that it would not fit though. They were 20s and 22s. I haven't been that size in years. Heather talked me into trying it on.. and it fit! I will admit, the midsection was snug.. but I am only losing sizes and weight in the next 5 weeks until the wedding, so we figured it would be okay. I LOVE the dress.. and I only paid $15.80 total for it!

After getting home and getting the dress on again.. I rethought things. Although I do LOVE that dress.. I mean it's gorgeous.. I was not comfortable in it, and it showed. Sunday morning, I talked John into going to a couple of the other Deb stores in town to just see what they might have. Sure enough.. they had more CHEAP dresses. I ended up finding a different dress that I like even more. I am actually comfortable in it too! It's the same size and brand of the original one, but it's a different cut and style.. and it just flatters me more. The one that I had originally gotten, I couldn't take it back. Since it was so heavily marked down and is a "special occasion" dress, they don't allow returns. I ended up giving it to Danna.. and she is going to wear it in the wedding! I love that dress.. I am happy that someone is going to be wearing it. Heather was excited when she saw me in the dress I picked out with John.. it does have a very flattering style and makes me look slimmer. That's always a plus, right? I am seriously happy with the choice of dress now.

I have pictures of both dresses that I will post.. but they are on another memory card. Photos to come later!

Migraines? Hello.

I haven't had a migraine headache since I was in high school.. or should say HADN'T had a migraine since high school.

Last Friday, on 08/08/08, I got a doozy of a headache. It had been kinda coming on for a few days. I tried taking different things, but nothing seemed to help. Finally, on Friday morning, it started to get REALLY bad. It was the worst headache of my life, by far. I called my doctor's office in the morning, and they took forever getting back to me. I finally was able to find out by late afternoon that my doctor wasn't even in the office that day! Augh. They sent me to the ER.

I made the decision not to go all the way across town to the hospital where I had my DS surgery and instead went downtown here which is like 5 minutes from our new house. They had never even heard of the duodenal switch there.. ever. I also had the wonderful experience of not only being seen by a resident.. but she had ANOTHER doctor with her who was also a resident. It was his FIRST DAY EVER in the ER.. he was nice enough to inform me of that. Wow, are you kidding me right now? I can barely function with this headache, and you are sending me this guy? Greaaatttt. I guess everyone has to learn sometime. Ugh. He was nice enough.. and he did clearly go to the MSU College of Human Medicine.. so points for him there.

They were actually worried about something called pseudotumor cerebri that can happen after weight loss surgery. It happens when pressure builds up and causes the intracranial pressure to also be higher. The cure is a lumbar puncture. ACCKKK. When they said that, I was instantly even MORE stressed. John wasn't with me.. my niece Heather was. That is definitely the next best thing to having John or my mommy with me.. but I seriously wanted John there with me at that point. They also wanted to get a CAT scan. Fine, I am a pro at those now.. and skinnier so I am not all worried that their machine is going to break.

They ended up trying a combination of Compazine and Benadryl to see if it really was a 'common' migraine headache. Thankfully, the CAT scan was negative.. and the medications made the headache go completely away. I was SO relieved. They put me to sleep almost instantly. I hadn't slept well as it was with the headache I had been having for days.. and finally with the relief of the headache, I was OUT. Heather had to leave to go pick up Ken from work, so my MIL came to sit with me until I was done and took me home. They gave me a prescription for Vicodin to take in case the headache came back.. I was just informed today that Vicodin actually can cause rebound headaches! WHAT?! No wonder it hasn't been working!

I called my PCP again today, and she ended up prescribing Compazine and Benadryl for me to take at home to see if I will get the same relief. I am hoping so. I started to get a headache today again as well. It probably doesn't help that I am also dealing with this sunburn. I will be waiting until this evening to try the Compazine/Benadryl combo. I can't work while taking that stuff, for sure. Vicodin, I can muddle through with it as long as I don't have to drive.. but that Compazine is some serious business.

On another note.. I made an appointment today for Gwen and I to go and get our hairs cut on Saturday morning. I am looking forward to a change.. and I am tired of seeing all my long hair falling out. I will post pictures afterward!

Beach Day 2008

John, Heather, and Ken packing the coolers and the cars at our house.

Our family tries to make it a point to get together and have a beach day at least once each summer. August 12th was the day for this year! We all met up at our house and set out at about 10am. I had made sandwiches in the morning, and we even bought a new cooler (holds 90 cans woowoo) from Sam's Club for the occasion. We had snacks, drinks, and got some sand toys for my niece Genna.

We stopped at a grassy park and had lunch first.. since we had all been so busy we didn't eat in the morning. Oops!

After lunch, we headed to the water. It was not packed yet. The water was COLD. I mean.. icebox status. We could dip our feet in and that was about it. Once it got a little later and the sun was out longer, PARTS of the water got warm. The shallow parts were warmer.. the deeper parts not so much.

Ken, Heather, and their daughter Genna went with us. Trace was also there with his 3 kids. Zach had just had ear surgery so he wasn't up to going to the lake. Amanda and Tim were working, and Kerry was watching Amanda's kids.. so they couldn't make it either.

We had a great time. In past years, it was such a hassle to go. We always made it a point to go and do it, but I would be EXHAUSTED from just walking down the sidewalk let alone the 1/4 mile to find a spot, carry the stuff, get all situated.. THIS YEAR THOUGH.. I am leaner, spryer, and full of energy. I wasn't even out of breath after trekking across the sand. It was an awesome feeling. We stayed quite a long time. We all had sunblock on.. something I usually forget to do. Nonetheless, Heather and I got BURNT.


That's a small peek of the damage, just to my shoulder.. and you can see that it is way red up by my face as well.

If you know me and want to see the many, many pictures that I take, you can request to be my friend on Flickr. If you have a yahoo ID, you can use that for Flickr as well. I have them set to friends only because I certainly do not agree with flaring around a bunch of photos of kids all over the internet willy nilly. My Flickr ID is shinystereo. You can request me on there or send me an email and I will send you an invite.

Off to get some things done.. slowly.. since my skin is burnt to a crisp.

Short post. Whining today.

I am going bald. I knew it was going to happen, but it's so much worse now that it is here. Srsly. On a more positive note, doesn't my profile look so nice and skinny? Haha.

I am really sad over the hair loss.. but it will pass. I know that. Today, I mourn the loss of my hair.

Blog, do you feel neglected?

It has been a hectic couple of weeks. We are finally all moved into the new house. I will post some pictures soon of the house with all our stuff in it. It works out perfectly for us as far as the dogs and family goes. The living room/dining room is a big area and is going to be perfect for get togethers.

We had a few bumps in the road with the move. First of all, our fabulous new appliances were delivered. Yeah.. the refrigerator didn't fit. We went back to the store and picked out a different one to be delivered the next day. When the delivery driver got there, he made the original one fit by maneuvering it some crazy way. It does in fact fit though. So.. we have the fridge we wanted in the beginning just with a little bit of hassle in the middle.

Next, the house happens to have hookups for an electric dryer but not a gas dryer. We already own a gas dryer, and it looks like the gas may have been hooked up in the basement for a dryer at one time. My dad came over and helped to run the gas for the dryer.. another problem now.. there is no dryer vent. WHAT? They boarded up all the vents. So weird. We have to get one in now.. just waiting on the right tools for that.

The shower in the upstairs bathroom was made with partial plastic pipe and partial metal pipe.. making the connections weak and leaky. The whole thing has to be done in one or other.. so we can't use it right now.

We had 2 rent a truck 2 separate times to get all the moving done and get a HUGE amount of trash to the dump. We also tried to have a yard sale, but it was rained out. We ended up making a little bit of money.. and giving the rest of the stuff away. I made a post on craigslist and we left everything by the curb. When we came back the next day, almost all of it was gone.

Our old rental house still needs cleaning. Everything is out of it.. we just need to get the dust out and clean the bathrooms, etc. There is $1,000 for a security deposit at stake, and we want as much of it back as possible. It would be nice to get it all.. but we are not holding our collective breath.

Hmm.. what else? We do love the new house in spite of the minor bumps. The move was hard.. they usually are.. but once we are fully settled in, it will all be worth it.

Two days ago on the 23rd, I was 3 months out from my duodenal switch surgery. When I went to see my PCP on 7/14/08, my total loss from the date of surgery was exactly 50 pounds with a loss of 111 pounds in all from my highest weight. AWESOME!!! I am feeling so great and fitting into smaller sizes of clothes now as well. When I did see my PCP, she was so happy for me. She was telling me how great I looked and how happy she could tell I was. I have lost almost 100 pounds since she first met me last September.. she is just very excited for me as well. It's really awesome to have a stellar support system with the medical professionals I see and my family and friends.

More later!

Packing and moving.

The past couple of days have been BUSY.

We have been packing the house from top to bottom. We have our own things to move plus John's mom and grandmother. A lot of work.

We also picked out appliances.. a stove and refrigerator. I never knew it was so stressful to pick out appliances. It took me like 2 hours of going back and forth from stoves to fridges, fridges to stoves to get the ones I finally decided on. John was there too, but he wanted to get the cheapest ones possible. We ended up with black stove and refrigerator.. side by side fridge! I can't wait to get them into the house.

We have also been shopping in thrift stores quite a bit. There is a really decent one close to us in Jenison.. it has mostly furniture. We ended up getting a dining room table and chairs, a chair for John's gram, and some stools for a little bar type area in the dining room. We also got a couch for our niece, Heather. The couch is NICE.. and was only $40. We are excited we found this place.. we will be going back there for sure.

My parents came to see the house.. they seemed to like it. Everyone.. including them.. keeps saying.. "oh, it's nice for your first house..". Uhh.. it's nice ANYWAY. We don't plan to move anytime soon. With the trouble it took us to get into this house, I can't imagine doing it again in my lifetime.

John and I are both working for the next 5 days.. then we have the week off next week to get the move done.

The realtor just called me today too.. to see how things are going for us and to thank us. I was actually planning to email her today because we are supposed to get a survey done of the perimeters of the lot size at the house.. and we have not yet gotten that. She is going to check on it.

So far, things are going well.

Another ER visit.

Yesterday, John got done with work early. I had been packing all day, so we decided to go out and enjoy the beautiful evening somewhere. We took my nephew Aaron with us, and we set out. We ended up at Bennigan's for dinner. That was good. We had been waiting for a few minutes before the waitress came to our table.. the manager ended up coming over and offering us a free appetizer and free dessert since we had waited so long. That was nice of them.

We decided we were going to see a movie and decided on Hancock. It was good.. in the beginning. We saw about 30 minutes of it, and then I started to get horrible pains in my abdomen. They steadily got worse and got to the point where I was lightheaded, dizzy, sweating, and could barely speak. I ended up calling my surgeon's after hours line, and the PA sent me to the ER. Once I got there, I was worse. They got me all in and into a room.. I went to the restroom and passed some significant amounts of gas. I felt a little better after that. They still checked my urine, and I have a UTI. When I was in the ER at the end of May, they had checked my urine then and came back with strep. I had it rechecked with my PCP as recommended, and they said it was clean. I think they may have been wrong and that I have had a UTI this whole time. The PA suspected that I may have had a kidney stone and passed it and that may have been the source of the really bad pain. They gave me some antibiotics, and I was on my way.

I relaxed part of the day today, and we have been packing also. We have most of our own things packed, and we are working on the main parts of the house.. the living room, dining room, and kitchen. We also have to help John's mom and grandmother. It's no small undertaking to move this household. We have two days to work on it this week, then we are planning to pack more and start the move on Monday, July 14.

We are finally excited about the move. It's our own house. Our own home. We can hang things on the walls and paint things the colors we want. Small things are going to be so exciting for us.

We got the house!!

If you follow my Twitter, you know that we finally closed on the house on July 2, 2008. One day after our anniversary, but that is okay. I am honestly shocked and surprised that it happened at all, frankly.

We are planning our move for July 14. Our normal days off work are Monday and Tuesday, and we both have 7/16 and 7/17 off as well. I was going to take Friday off, and that would make me off for about 9 days in a row.. but I need to save some vacation time for my niece's wedding and a friend's birthday shindig on a Saturday in July that I am scheduled to work as well.

More later.

Happy anniversary... pfft.

Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. We were hoping to have signed for the house today and have that be a stellar end to this home-buying nightmare.

Yeah, not so much.

I called the realtor AND the lender this morning.. it seems that SOMEONE canceled the re-inspection by the FHA inspector. The FHA guy says it was the lender. The realtor says she has no clue. The lender says she did no such thing.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Now, we have no real date for the closing. I need to stop calling these people. Speaking to them makes my blood boil. I don't understand what the issue is. We can't be the first people to buy houses from them?

We have no money to celebrate our anniversary with anything fun. We were supposed to be getting a house.. that seems to be up in the air now.

The saga continues..

The closing for the house is not happening on July 1. Are we surprised? No. Are we happy about it? Also a no.

Apparently, the lender needs more time for whatever it is that she does. Hello.. could you have told us this before say.. today at 530pm? I think you could have.

I digress.

Now.. TENTATIVELY.. the closing is set for July 2 at 9am. It better happen.

IT BETTER.

Family..

So.. my mom called this morning. She lives in another city. My husband answered the phone and made a face when he was handing me the phone. I was like.. okaayy. I started talking to her, and she sounded to strange. She was eerie and calm.. really subdued. I was instantly worried. She proceeded to tell me she had some bad news.. her sister passed away. She said she didn't feel sad really.. she didn't know what to feel. I personally think she mourned and grieved for her sister a long time ago.

People that know me probably aren't even aware that my mother had a sister and has a brother. They are not close.. never have been. In recent years, my mom hadn't spoken to her sister.. probably in the last 10 years. She hasn't spoken to her brother in 5 years or more, since my grandfather passed away. He was the one who called her to tell her about her sister. She told him that they really only talk when somone dies.. he said that they should stop that. There is a whole history behind all of this.. but it involves everyone in the family being drinkers and the drinking exacerbating everything.

I don't really have any family of my own that I am close to. I am close to everyone in John's family.. and I don't like that I really don't have my "own family" to be close with.

It has me thinking thinking a lot today about possibly getting together with my uncle. Would my mom be mad about it? Should I let her problems carry over to me? I don't want to offend her.. but I feel like I want to make an effort too. Really though, will these people enrich my life at all? I guess I won't know if I don't try. A dilemma.

Pictures of the most recent house..

These were posted in my other blog but did not transfer over..


Standing in the dining room looking toward the front door. There is original woodwork throughout and all new laminate floors in the downstairs.






Love these windows in the dining room!



Kitchen with all new counters. No dishwasher.. but we will live, right?


Big back yard.. all fenced and ready for the dogs to play in.




Upstairs bathroom, completely new.. waiting for the medicine cabinet to be hung.

The house drama continues..

We put in for the repairs to be done by the owner on the house we have an offer on now. According to our realtor, who spoke to his realtor.. the owner plans to do all repairs. Seems to me that was a pretty extensive list to just take on with no counter offer. HOWEVER, if he is game.. more power to him. I want to close on this house and GET IT DONE AND OVER WITH. This has been 3 months of the most stress I have ever experienced in my life.

In the midst of it all, I had major surgery too.. which thankfully went well.

Let's recap for anyone just tuning in:

House #1. Beginning of April 2008.. saw a house for sale on our same street that we rent on now and LOVED it. Put in an offer.. VOILA! ACCEPTED in a day. Approved for financing. Everything is a go. Inspections are done and PAID FOR BY US. Closing date set for May 21. Fabulous. Our lease goes through the end of July.. gives us ample time to move and do any painting and other things before we move in. Convenient move as well, seeing that it is on the same street! Fast forward to the MORNING WE ARE SUPPOSED TO CLOSE. The realtor calls us, just short of completely hysterical. The house is a short sale, and the short sale company she was working with was somehow basically breaking the law with this type of fast transaction. The title for a house should be held for 90 days before selling.. they held it for less than 30. No way we can close this day. I never had a chance to be mad or upset.. the realtor was freaking out.

We wait around. There is basically nothing that can be done. Fine, we accept it and move on.

It was April 23rd that I had duodenal switch surgery.. recovery went well, and I am feeling 100% normal now. Thankfully, I had no issues; and we were able to continue our house hunt when we had to.

House #2. The realtor basically told us to find something that we wanted to look at and then she would help us. Ok. We did. It was crap. She ended up giving us a few homes that were not short sales and would potentially pass FHA inspection to look at. We did, and we found yet another house that would be perfect for us. Enough bedrooms, central air, family room, more than 1 bathroom, and in a great neighborhood. We put in an offer on it that day.

We wait. And wait. And wait. Days and days. Despite asking for a response in 48 hours, we wait almost a week to hear anything. Finally, we hear that they accept the offer! Awesome. We are excited yet again. Our realtor finally talks to the seller's realtor.. yeah.. the house won't pass FHA. The foundation is crumbling under the crawl space. The selling realtor knows this, and she doesn't want to waste her time. Thank goodness.. we would have paid for ANOTHER round of inspections only to lose over $1000 again. Fine. Moving on.

House #3. We never even get to the point of offering on this one. We liked it, but we did not love it. We were going to give it a go.. until we had a termite inspection done. Yeah.. infested. INFESTED. Termites and carpenter ants. Again, moving on.

House #4. This is a house our realtor found. We are getting supremely discouraged at this point. The day we went to see this house, I actually spoke to and saw the realtor. She was going to do an open house on the first house we offered on and loved. Irony. Gotta love it. Anywho, she tells me about this house. The 4th house. It's not in the best of neighborhoods, but is at a cul-de-sac and really is not that bad. My husband got there before me and had seen the whole thing before I arrived. I was like "so, what do you think?" He says.. "eh, it's okay." UGH. Great. Another lemon. HAHA. NOPE. IT WAS AWESOME. He was kidding. It was completely redone inside. New everything.. carpet, appliances, walls, finished basement, 2 new bathrooms.. the possibility of 6 bedrooms in total. I was totally wowed. It was the best one by far that we had seen. I went.. again, ironically, to meet the realtor at the open house of our first house we offered on to put an offer in on this house that very afternoon. Again, we wait.

We finally hear from them. They want us to apply for some city grant thing that takes like 6 months to get processed and all so they can get more money out of the sale. AUGH ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Fine. We keep looking, yet again.

These are not the only houses we looked at. For every house we liked, there were 10+ that we hated or didn't work for us. I bet we have seen no less than 100 houses in the past 3 months. I wish I was exaggerating.

We went out and looked at probably 10 houses in 1 day. We finally found one that we liked in the northwest part of the city.. new for us since we have always lived in the southwest area. The neighborhood is decent, the house is all redone.. we put in an offer and finally things seem to be working out.. SEEM to be.. so far. We have a closing date set for July 1st at 10am. When I told my mom about it, she reminded me that it was the day of my wedding anniversary. OOPS. I forgot. With all of the commotion.. I totally didn't even put it together. Maybe it's a sign, right? Let's hope.

Bringing this blog up to date..

So, I originally started my blog on obesityhelp.com.. but as I get further out from surgery, I find that my blogging is less about actual weight loss and more about a lot of other things. I figured I should move it to an actual "blog" site. The following post is actually all of my posts beginning prior to my decision to have weight loss surgery all the way up to just a few hours ago. Some things won't make a lot of sense.. and there were pictures included in some of the original posts. If you are interested in knowing more about anything, just let me know!

Start reading from the bottom first.. pressing the end key on your keyboard is the fastest way to get there. The posts are in chronological order from bottom to top. Each title is a link that you can follow to see the actual original post as it was done on obesityhelp.com.

Thanks for reading.. comments are welcome!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update on the house(s).4 hours ago
So.. if you remember back (or read back).. we were supposed to close on on a house at the end of May. That didn't happen.. long story.. but it had to do with FHA and the short sale/foreclosure process. The realtor called me on Monday.. they have lifted the ban on FHA insured loans for foreclosures.. they made the announcement on Friday, June 13th. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Had this been a month ago, we would have gotten the house we wanted. The house was not a foreclosure.. but a pre-foreclosure. We don't know if the new rules apply.. but it is being looked into. We were completely approved for that home, including the FHA inspection and all. If things are able to be done now, I don't know what we will do. We are into the process quite far with the house I posted pictures of a couple posts down.. but the original house we tried for is awesome as well. I feel like I have multiple personalities. On another note.. what happened to our summer? For the last 3 days, it has been like 60 degrees. I am freezing all the time. I think it's because I have less insulation (fat). Ha. Long day of work today and until Friday.. then I have a 4-day weekend. I love those.. and I feel like I need it. I am stressed over this house thing. I ate some steak yesterday, and it was glorious. Time for a little more sleep before work. Stay tuned for house updates.

More about weight loss and less about everything else?4 days ago
So, it strikes me that I write less and less about surgery and weight loss and more about other things that are going on in my life.Since this *IS* a site geared toward helping those with obesity, I would imagine that blogging about life in general is not as appropriate? Since surgery, I find that I have more to write about because I am DOING more. My life becomes more full by the day. I had basically become someone who left the house once a week to do errands, etc.. and spent the rest of the time at home. It helps that I actually work from home, so I would have left for that too.. if I had to. I had also gotten to the point where I rarely drove anywhere. Now, I have no problem going anywhere. If I had an appointment before, I would have to schedule it when someone could take me. Now, it's nice if my husband goes with me.. but I go on my own too. I have made new friends through this site as well.. and gone to meet them. That is not something I would have done prior to surgery. It's not like surgery is a magic spell, but it helps to know that you and your weight are finally headed in the right direction.. and you never have to look back.

Finally some good news!5 days ago
So.. the fourth time was a charm! The offer we made yesterday was accepted. Woowoo! We are looking at closing sometime in the next couple of weeks here. Finally, finally, finally. I hope this one goes without a hitch. Some pics:Standing in the dining room looking toward the front door. There is original woodwork throughout and all new laminate floors in the downstairs.Love these windows in the dining room!Kitchen with all new counters. No dishwasher.. but we will live, right?Big back yard.. all fenced and ready for the dogs to play in.Upstairs bathroom, completely new.. waiting for the medicine cabinet to be hung.Wish us more luck that the closing goes without a hitch!

-yawn-6 days ago
It's the middle of the night, and I am awake. I fell asleep at midnight while watching my Days on the DVR. Now it is 5am and I am AWAKE. Thinking about the offer on the latest house. Cross your fingers and keep em that way.Thanks.

Update!6 days ago
I had my 6-week followup appointment on Monday. I am doing well.. not as well as I thought.. but well. I have lost 12 more pounds. The way I slimmed down, I really thought it was more. I am walking a lot though, so maybe I am getting some muscles. Yay! I was okayed to eat rice, nuts, toast.. a lot of other things. Most of the things have carbs.. so I will be staying away from them. I did try some rice though, and I was fine with it.I met Gwen for a shopping trip at Target, and she gave me two HUGE bags of clothes that I am going to shrink into.. as opposed to grow into. Haha. We had a fabulous time. I got some deals on a laptop sleeve and I also got some new skullcandy ear buds. They are PINK and feel great in the ears. Love em.So, the house situation. The saga continues. The house that we looked at and loved so much.. the all redone one.. yeah, they will take the offer and pay about half of the closing costs. That doesn't work for us, since we need all of them included in the loan. We have since looked at ANOTHER house that is also mostly new inside with new floors, new bathrooms, new kitchen, and a nice yard. Bonus.. this one also has central air. Yesssss. We went to put an offer on this latest one just a couple hours ago.. so it's wait and see again. I'm not holding my breath, frankly. I am eating some cheddar smoky links, cheddar cheese, and drinking a low carb Fuze in tangerine grapefruit flavor. All pretty good.. and I have some sugar free pudding waiting in the wings for dessert. Gotta get that chocolate fix, ya know!

Houses.. houses.. houses.on June 8, 2008 6:20 pm
We went to look at yet another house today. I loved it, of course. The inside is all completely refurbished. EVERYTHING is new.. bathrooms, kitchen, carpet, walls.. finished basement, 2 full bathrooms, the works. We already put in an offer.. I am not holding my breath. I can't get excited about this stuff any more. I hoping it's accepted.. but I won't be surprised in the least if we can't get it for whatever reason.My 6-week appointments are tomorrow.. as I have been saying for weeks now. Haha. I can't wait to see my weight on the scale. I am feeling much lighter, and my clothes are all looser.. so even if the numbers are not what I hope they are, I am still progressing. I do a lot of walking. Once we are through this house hunting ordeal, I am going to look into joining a place that has a pool. I love to swim.. and it is summer, after all. Keep your fingers crossed for our latest offer to be accepted and for everything to go smoothly. At this point, I know that luck is not on our side though.

This is really becoming laughable.on June 6, 2008 9:32 am
So.. the news on the latest house. Infested with termites. That's right.Good thing I am losing weight and that is keeping my spirits up. This house crap is getting old. I have the weekend off, and it looks like the search is still on for the perfect house.Cross your fingers for us.

The next chapter in the saga of home ownership..on June 5, 2008 4:39 pm
So, the realtor calls me this morning. The house we put an offer on this week is actually a short sale.. despite having NO documentation of that on the listing. Mmm.. wonderful.So, they are going to work on it.. make it work.. blah blah. Fast forward to about 6 hours later. Another call from the realtor. Very bad news.. and some good news, she says. Mhm. I am not surprised. The bad news.. the house we loved and put an offer on that is a short sale but they were going to work on it.. YEAH.. the foundation is crumbling. Fabulous. Let's move right in. Get to the good news.. she has another house she can show me. Okay, I am game.The place is pretty nice. Three bedrooms, 1 bath. Ouch. ONE BATHROOM? Can I live this way? I don't know. Anyway.. the house is nice. We are waiting on the FHA talk and to see if it will pass. It's in a good neighboorhood.. I hope THIS works out. I am ready to live just about anywhere at this point. Feeling skinnier today. Posted a new 6-week picture. Appointment on Monday with the surgeon so I will know my numbers then. Last week, when I was in the ER for the hideous illness I had, I also submitted a urine sample. It came back postive for beta hemolytic strep 2. Translation: You are infected. Hey, thanks. I was supposed to get retested with my PCP.. which I did. Get this.. the urine culture takes a WEEK. Hello? A week? So I may be infected with ebola, but I should carry it around for a week while they figure out what to treat me with. That's awesome. I know it's not as major as all that.. but isn't this MODERN medicine? Bleh. More later.. if I make it that far. Just kidding!! Heh.

Meh.on June 4, 2008 4:45 pm
We have had a couple of rainy gloomy days around here. It's been fairly cool today. Tomorrow, the temperatures are supposed to be in the high 80s. Michigan summer is here. Here's a shock.. no word back on the offer on the 2nd house. The realtor representing the seller hasn't sent word to my realtor. Bleh. Another day of waiting. Some good news.. I dug out some shirts that have been TIGHT on me for awhile. They are from Lane Bryant. They are nice shirts.. a cotton/spandex blend that has a smooth feel. There is spandex involved though.. so if it's tight, it clings in ALL the wrong places. I have worn one today, and I think it actually looks nice! It's fitting like it's supposed to, not like a second skin. Woohoo. Tried to take a pic but with no makeup on, I look like a monsta. Haha.Ciao for now.

Finally back to normal.on June 4, 2008 1:07 am
Over this past weekend, I was finally feeling back to my normal self. I was worried for awhile.. I was not getting all my vitamins, fluids, or protein.. and what I did get was not sitting well.The office wanted to send me for an upper GI on Thursday morning, but I have to work.. I called and Dr. Kemmeter said that it would be okay to wait until I was seen for my 6-week checkup on June 9th to determine if the GI study was still needed. I don't think it is at this point.. I am back to eating and drinking as I was before I was sick. I feel like I am still losing weight. My energy has been good.. though if I have a very busy day, I do end up needing a nap at some point. I am still waiting to fit into a different size of clothes. All my current clothes are VERY loose.. but I am still a smidge away from fitting into the next lower size. I have heard that once you get into lower sizes, you change sizes much quicker.On the home buying front, we actually put an offer in on another home. We are waiting to hear tomorrow about it. I think the original one that we tried for was great.. but it just was not meant to be. When we saw this house we have offered on now, we were instantly excited. I am trying not to get too happy and excited about it.. I really don't want to be disappointed again. I went to see Gwen S. after her surgery today at Blodgett. She was looking good and doing pretty well. She was looking at possibly going home after just 1 day in the hospital depending on how she felt. Welcome to the loser's bench!I have to work for the next 3 days.. then I am off for a 4-day weekend. I am looking forward to it. Now that the weather has been nicer, it's been great to get out and do more.

A really rough 3 days and counting. on May 30, 2008 9:33 am
I haven't updated for awhile.I have been.. so sick. Tuesday afternoon/evening, I just could not stay awake. I was feeling sort of dragged down and just worn out. I slept most of the day. When I tried to eat dinner, that is when the fun started. I got sick then and just stopped this morning, which is Friday. I called Dr. Kemmeter's office on Wednesday morning, and they sent me to the ER. I was seen there and had a CT scan along with fluids and some nausea medicine. The CT was fine.. so no complications from the surgery. I was relieved to hear that. I left the ER feeling better. That lasted about as long as it took to get home, I think. I basically slept for 2 straight days. The Phenergan they gave me knocked me out cold for at least 4 hours per dose. I was trying to take fluids, but everything I got down came right back up. Today is Friday, and I am back to work. I don't know if I actually feel better or if I am convincing myself that I am better. I am not running to the bathroom every 10 minutes today, and I have managed to keep down some fluids as well. I had some chicken, and that seems to be okay too. I hope the worst is over. Being sick is bad, but being sick this soon after surgery seemed worse. I was still feeling pretty rotten this morning and had a call in to Dr. Kemmeter's office again. They want me to come in for lab work next week and have an upper GI series. I am feeling better now though.

New pictures posted!on May 25, 2008 6:04 am
I put up some new pictures in a different album titled 'Journey'. I am going to try to put at least 1 new picture per month in there. I think my face is looking slimmer. Yay!More later.

One month out from surgery!on May 23, 2008 6:29 pm
Today is my 1 month surgiversary! Time has seemed to fly by since surgery.. it also seems like it has been a lifetime since I had the surgery too. I spent so much time waiting and preparing, it doesn't feel like only a month that I have been 'altered'. Haha. Things have been wonderful as far as how I feel and my state of mind. Foods have been easy for me. The only real hard time I have had was with some crackers a few days ago.. they are not something that is going to be part of my diet again for a LONG time. Ugh. All meats have done down okay.. but I do make sure to have lots of sauces and gravies.I wish I knew what my weight loss numbers were today. I should probably just buy a scale for home, eh? I don't have one here, so I rely on the numbers from the surgeon's office. After my 6 week visit, I won't have another visit until 3 months out.. and I sure want to know sooner than that how much weight I am losing! I don't want to be a psycho about it and weigh myself every day.. but maybe just once a week or something. I am still very happy I had my surgery. I am hoping it affords me all the things I was looking for. It has already put my diabetes into remission. Also, I am off the lisinopril I was taking as well. All good news.If you're thinking of surgery.. I would highly recommend it. It's the best thing that has happened to me in a long time!

Oh, did you really want to buy that house?on May 21, 2008 9:32 am
Bad news on the house front. Bad, bad news. We did not close yesterday as planned. I do not want to lay out all the details here as this may end up in litigation. Long story short, someone working on the sale was FIRED yesterday morning.. and nobody would touch her work to complete the sale for us. Wonderful. Things are still being worked on.. but I am not holding my breath. I do like the house.. but it's been so stressful.. it's almost made me just want to be done with things one way or the other. The guy we rent from now would have no problems extending our lease if we want to, I don't think. I am sure it would be a lot easier for him to have us stay here and know the rent is paid on time instead of trying to re-rent the place and not know what the new tenants are like. As much as I want to get into our own house.. if it's not meant to be right now, I don't want to stress over it any more. Things as far as eating, fluids, and protein are going well. Not too much new to report there. I am eating about 6-8 very small 'meals' per day and drinking all day long. I feel great. I can't wait for my appointment on June 9 to see what my weight loss numbers are. I met with 3 other people from the Michigan forum on Monday morning.. Gwen, Carole, and Eileen. We had a great time and awesome conversation. All very nice ladies. We will have to get together again soon. I think our meeting sent good vibes Gwen's way because she got scheduled for a surgery date finally!! Congrats to Gwen. She is getting a VSG. She is going to be dropping pounds in no time!That's all to report for now.

Guilt?on May 17, 2008 3:43 pm
When I am done eating.. not so much now.. but for most of my adult life.. I would have to get the dishes, etc away from me immediately. They were considered garbage once I was done with them, and I have a strange sick feeling if I can't get away from them.I was thinking about this.. and I think it is really related to being guilty about eating. If I have a dish sitting in front of me that is empty.. it is a reminder of the 'bad' thing I just did by eating. If I am anywhere I can, I get up to take care of my own dishes the minute I am finished eating. I didn't go to sit-down restaurants for a long time.. partially because of this and partially because I felt like I was being stared at. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't.. but I felt self-conscious and totally conspicuous. I don't think I eat an overly large amount of food.. or used to.. but it's like the judgment felt like it was there from everyone. I just had 2 small pieces of rotisserie chicken with full-fat ranch dressing.. and I am stuffed. Almost all of my vitamins have been taken for the day, and I drank a protein drink with 50g of protein this morning. Things are going very well.

A couple stressful days.on May 16, 2008 3:12 pm
We got some great news yesterday.. we were accepted for our home loan! Along with that came some mediocre news.. we had to submit a few more pieces of paperwork and get some MORE verification of things. The funny thing is.. our mortgage lady had worked so hard to get every penny of our income proven, asked us for pay stubs and proof of recent raises, etc.. and the approval didn't even address the income. WHAT? They were more concerned about my federal student loans. I can see why.. quite the hefty sum, those are. All in all, things are good though. We are looking at closing soon.. then we will be homeowners! Finally, after all these years of renting. I had underestimated how stressful it would be to get approval for the house. My husband has been freaking out.. his nails are bitten down to nothing and he is constantly talking about what if this and what if that. For once, I am not the one acting like a lunatic. I have Celexa to thank for that, I think. Yay. Things with my health have been good. I have developed that weird neck strain again that I went to the ER for just a few days prior to sugery. I called MMPC to see what would be okay to take for it. I had been previously prescribed 800mg of ibuprofen.. and I had the right idea to think that it would be too hard on my new insides. The PA told me to take some of the liquid Vicodin I had left. Wow. I can't really work and take that.. but I certainly did sleep good last night. I am not sure what exactly my weight is at right now. I don't weigh myself at home, and the last time I was at the doctor was 2 weeks following surgery when I was at 379. I know I have lost more. My clothes are getting much, much looser, and I am almost fitting into some old jeans I had packed away from years ago. I have an appointment on June 9th, so I will know the numbers then. I think after that, I will weigh myself at home on a weekly basis just so I have some numbers to go by. My next appointment after June won't be until 3 months postop, so I don't want to wait THAT long to see progress. Summer is almost here.. I can't wait to start swimming!

Getting better, little by little.on May 13, 2008 10:17 am
I am trying more of a variety of foods, and things have been feeling great.On Mother's Day, my SIL was over and made dinner for my MIL and GMIL. She made pot roast, potatoes, and salad.. I ate about 2 bites of pot roast and some of the ham, cheese, and onion dip that I had made for myself. For dessert, much later, I had one apple from the apple pie and 1 teeny bite of ice cream. I was stuffed, and I was also satisfied. It didn't bother me as far as gas or other issues either. It was such a small amount, but it tasted so good. Haha. I am also drinking all of my fluids with a straw. My surgeon's office strictly treats straws as the evil, but I found out that is more geared toward the RNY crowd. Fluids go down better and smoother with a straw.

Things are better in the past couple of days.on May 10, 2008 3:15 pm
So, things are getting better again. My last post was a momentary feeling of being overwhelmed and freaking out just a little.Last night, my niece had a Pure Romance party. There were about 15 of us there.. and it was FUN. People that haven't seen me since before surgery were complimenting me and telling me the weight loss was so evident. I was so happy to hear that. More than that, I actually let myself just have a good time. Normally, I wouldn't have participated in the games, etc.. but I did it all. I was laughing the whole night. Most people were having a few drinks.. but I am so close after surgery, I did not want to even begin to mess with that. When I talked to my husband late in the evening on the phone, he asked me if I HAD been drinking because I was cracking up and just messing with him. Before the party, I went out to dinner with 2 of my friends. We went to a popular place here in town for mexican food. When we were seated, it was at a booth. Ordinarily, I would have been like.. no, sorry.. it has to be a table. My friend asked me if it was going to be okay because she knows the issues. I said.. I will give it a try.. and guess what? I was totally comfortable. Ohmygosh. I was sitting in a booth in a regular restaurant for the first time in years. It was the best feeling. I ended up getting a chicken chimichanga and eating about 1/4 of the insides. It came with lots of sauce and sour cream which was great. We had a fabulous time, and I brought my leftovers with me for later. Things have been better with the vitamins and fluids also. I am eating what I can when I can, but I am still getting almost all of my protein from supplements. Once I can eat a little more quantity, I am going to try to cut out 1 supplement and get protein through solids.

All is not good today.on May 8, 2008 5:51 pm
I think today is the first day since surgery that I have actually wondered what the hell I have done to myself. The vitamins, protein, and fluids are a chore in and of themselves.. nevermind trying to think about food. I am back to work today, and I am so exhausted. I sit in a chair and work all day.. what am I so tired about? I was in tears most of the day off and on. The vitamins make me sick unless I eat with them.. but I can't take them and eat because my stomach is full. Today is also the first day I threw up. Here's a new one.. no warning when puking. That's right. It's a good thing I was close to the bathroom, because it just came flaring out with no warning kinda like a faucet. It's so very ironic that I felt so wonderful immediately following surgery but now that I am back to work, I am dealing with many problems. I also think there is a component of depression involved. I made a note to myself to call the surgeon's office tomorrow because my Celexa dose was not increased after surgery.. so I am probably not getting the full dose that I was used to. That combined with the surgery issues is making me a basket case, I think. Here I was thinking that my surgery was flawless and I was going to get through things with no problems at all. Bah. I am sure I will read this later and be mad at myself for being such a negative baby, but this is how I feel right now.

Some things that I think are true.on May 7, 2008 1:35 pm
Poor planning on your part does not make for an emergency on my part.If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always gotten. ~~My life is getting better every day, and I look forward to sharing it with everyone. I never knew that the weight I carried was a literal prison for the personality I had inside. I know I am not perfect.. but I feel like my life means more now. I look forward to the possibilities.

Do you Twitter?on May 7, 2008 10:10 am
If ya do, you should look me up so we can follow each other. I would love to have some DSers to follow. My id on there is shinystereo, same as on OH.Happy Twittering!

My 2-week postoperative visits.on May 6, 2008 3:30 pm
I had visits with the nutritionist and my surgeon today. Things are going great! I am more advanced in my diet than they would allow.. and they don't need to know that. If it were up to them, I would be on cream soups and low fat everything right now. Ugh. Please do not try to RNY me. I don't need to eat low fat.. I malabsorb fat. The surgeon was happy with my progress. He actually wrote "looks great" in my chart. He again gave me the speech about not caring about the numbers of weight but more about if my clothes are looser and if I FEEL good. I did get to stop my lisinopril for good as well. As of now, I am on no medications except for anxiety and then vitamins and some Prevacid. Not bad, not bad. I love getting away from the insulin. Woowoo. Dr. Kemmeter said my incisions were looking a little dry, so he told me to use some Neosporin or vitamin E on them. I have stayed away from lotions because of the scents, etc. Other than that, things are awesome. I was only 2 pounds down from last Friday.. but that was only about 5 days. They also weighed me on a different scale in the office that I am convinced is different from the main one. Oh well, I am losing and that is all that counts. I am headed back to work on 5/8/08 and got the all clear for that. Still getting all my protein and fluids.. and I got some zinc and selenium to try to combat any hair loss. Hope it works.

You got full from THAT?on May 4, 2008 10:09 pm
Things are going very well. My rash from a few days ago has cleared up with Benadryl just at night and hydrocortisone cream during the day. I am getting 60+ grams of protein per day. I get 60g from supplements and then don't count whatever I can manage to eat in my protein total. It's just extra. I get full SO fast. I try going very slowly, taking small bites, and chew very well... but I still get full pretty quickly. I can definitely feel when I am full and don't want to continue eating at that point.. it's actually comical that 4 bites of egg salad or half the meat from a chicken leg make me feel stuffed like after a huge holiday dinner. Still doing well as far as pain is concerned.. really none to speak of. Sometimes, I might feel a little ache on my left side; but the surgeon said that would be normal and would be my stomach healing. All is well. Yay.

Chicken Wing!on May 3, 2008 10:24 am
I have decided to completely go against the advice of the nutritionist at the surgeon's office. I am supposed to be on full liquids for 2 weeks following surgery.. but I did get permission to move to cream soups, cottage cheese, and yogurt. WELL.. dairy is not necessarily what I wanted.. but I did that for about a day.Then, when I met the other West Michigan DS ladies.. I ate some chicken pot pie soup. It was great, and it went down fine. I decided to try some more chunky soups.. again, fine. Yesterday, I made egg salad. It tasted SO good, and it also sat very well with me. The family I was visiting was ordering pizza for dinner, so I decided I was going to try some wings. I figured if they were drenched in sauce and I chewed them to oblivion, it would be fine. Guess what? IT WAS!! It was the best chicken wing of my life.. that's right.. just one filled me up. I was stuffed to the brim from one wing and the bleu cheese dressing I had with it. It felt fine eating it.. no pain or discomfort at all. I couldn't believe I was full from 1 wing. Isn't that nuts?I think I am already starting to love my DS!

ER visit at 8 days out from surgery.on May 2, 2008 3:22 pm
I was in the ER last night. I had a fabulous meeting with Julie, Jackie, and Kim that I had met here on OH.. ate some soup and felt fine last evening.. it was AWESOME to meet them all. They are all really interesting and really some of the nicest people. I had broken out in a small rash on my abdominal area on Wednesday evening and took some Benadryl.. but it steadily got worse over the day yesterday. Once I was home from visiting last night with a friend.. I checked my abdomen out, and it was much worse. I went directly to the ER. They gave me a shot of Benadryl.. to go along with the 50mg I had taken an hour prior to the 50mg shot.. and a shot of Solu-Medrol steroid. They were so irritated with me in the ER because I would not let them do anything to me without calling my surgeon's office. They tried to talk me out of it at first and tell me it would be fine.. I was packing my stuff and ready to leave if they wouldn't call. They called. It WAS fine.. but they are not MY surgeon or from MY surgeon's office, so I wanted to be sure. Turns out I am highly allergic to the surgical prep that they used. I thought it was weird that it took almost a week to show up with a reaction, but I have always had weird skin. Once the operative report is in my chart, I need to get a copy so that I can add that type of prep to my list of allergies so that nobody ever touches me with it again. The itching was so intense, I was about to go crazy.I had an appointment to follow up on things this morning with the PA at my surgeon's office, and the rash is almost completely resolved. They had given me an rx for a 5-day course of prednisone in the ER, but I double checked with the PA.. they didn't want me to start it. I figured as much. She said it would irritate my 'pouch'. I was like.. I don't have a pouch. She still said she didn't think I needed it. Fine with me. Steroids freak me out. So, I am back to my normal self today.. and I just had 4 bites of egg salad for dinner. It was glorious.

Some nice things happened today.on April 30, 2008 2:48 pm
A couple great things happened today. I dug out my jewelry box.. and all of my old rings already fit me! I am close to not being able to wear my wedding set anymore.. I was just able to START wearing it again a few months ago. I have some nice aquamarine birthstone jewelry from over the years that my mom has given me, and she also gave me a ruby heart-shaped ring that has never fit me until today. I am going to start wearing the ruby in place of my wedding set so I don't lose those rings.. they are getting close to being so loose they fall off. I called my mom to tell her immediately. I was almost crying. A nice milestone. I texted my husband, of course.. his response was "smile". A thousand things said with just one word. He is the best. Also, today.. I was allowed to advance my diet! Normally, it is not until 2 weeks out that they allow it. I have been feeling really great.. and when I was talking about things on the DS board, Julie informed me she was started on more normal foods at 5 days out. I was HAPPY and called MMPC first thing this morning. Of course, they didn't RESPOND first thing this morning. It wasn't until 1 more call and 1:30 in the afternoon that they gave me a RELUCTANT okay.. and I was off and running to the kitchen for some cream of mushroom soup. Sweet soup, I love you. It was the best soup of my life, I am not kidding you. It took me an hour to eat 5 ounces. It's now 2 hours after finishing, and I feel great. No bad things happened. So far, so good. Overall, a very good day. Onward and upward!

Comparison.on April 30, 2008 2:30 pm
So.. I have very few pictures of myself over the years. More recently, there are more.. due to a hard lesson I learned.I wanted to do a comparison here and see if people can tell a difference. It's hard seeing myself every day to know if there is a difference. The picture in the blue shirt is from the day of my MIL's bday on 12/04/2007. The B&W is me 7 days following surgery just out of the shower, no makeup, and a fuzzy ponytail today 4/30/2008. Haha. Let me know what you think.. brutal honesty is expected.

Unbelievable, really.on April 30, 2008 1:12 am
Wow, I just have to say.. wow. Since surgery... just 6 days ago.. I have lost 11 pounds. Tomorrow, it will be 3 weeks since my preoperative class and weigh in.. and I will have lost a total of 35 pounds. I mean, I have been on strictly liquid the entire time, and exercising almost nearly daily.. but these are pounds that are not going to come back this time. They are gone forever. I have had some feelings of guilt about how easy my recovery has been so far, and some feelings of almost dread about things around the corner. I posted about it on the duodenal switch forum, and I will include a link here. I got some really amazing responses and learned some new things as well. I just love this site for all of the support I have gotten. I continue to feel it has made my time of surgery and recovery so much easier and better. The DS community here on OH is truly something great to be a part of. Thanks everyone!

My surgery, part II.on April 29, 2008 6:59 am
So, I made it through surgery with flying colors! Apparently, everyone was making smart remarks about how if I wanted attention, I could have done something a little easier.. and I guess I was pretty free with the rude hand gestures, if you know what I mean. Haha. I VAGUELY remember some of that.. but I was really groggy and out of it for the whole day on Wednesday. I don't remember seeing anyone there really. The first real memories I have are of LATE at night on Wednesday/early morning Thursday when I finally came out of the anesthesia fog. My mom was asleep on a cot in my room, and everyone else had gone home. My mom rang for the nurse because they had wanted to know when I was awake so they could get me up and walking. WHAT? I was barely conscious. I did it though. That first night and through most of the day on Thursday, the automatic pain pump was my friend. They gave me Dilaudid instead of morphine which is apparently exponentially stronger than morphine. I love Dr. Kemmeter. That was his idea. I don't feel like I was pushing it all the time, but when I did.. I was out like a light for a good amount of time. I was always apologizing to people for falling asleep while they were visiting. So.. Thursday afternoon... the fun starts. They had hooked up a bag of potassium chloride because my potassium had come back as borderline low. Let me just add a tidbit of information here.. I am a nightmare for IV access. Usually, it cannot be found. When they do get it, it usually goes bad within minutes or the vein blows up. In the past year, I have been hospitalized twice for MRSA infections... and the only way to treat those is with IV antibiotics. In a 2-day hospital stay, I had 6 different IV sites with 17 attempts. Yes, that's right. SEVENTEEN. Everyone tries twice.. and sometimes 3 times. Ugh. So, back to Thursday. My IV machine thing starts beeping. I look at it.. distal occlusion. Here we go. This is something I know well, keep in mind. I start furiously looking at my hand for the telltale bump where the fluid is going in but not into the vein.. just under the skin. It seemed fine. Momentary panic over. The nurse comes in.. messes with it.. gets it started again.. then.. more beeping. She changed ALL the lines and was just sure that was the reason. Okay, it starts again.. and I start to drift off to sleep again. About 3 minutes after she left the room, my hand was puffing up like a balloon and hurting SO bad. I pushed the call button and stopped the IV. It was bad. Very bad. She begins then pushing on my hand all over the place, evidently in an effort to 'confirm' this. WOW STOP TOUCHING ME. During most of this, I am usually a good patient. I don't freak out.. on the outside. On the inside, I am wanting to SCREAM. Ok, so.. she attempts twice for an IV. Nothing. She is going to get her 'boss' who is a 'pro' at this. Fabulous. He comes in and tries 3 times.. all pompous about it and crap. Nothing. He is then going to get a 'good friend' of his who will be sure to help me. His friend finally shows.. and surprise surprise.. it's one of the bright red uniforms. I am familiar with these also. Everyone at this hospital wears a color according to the job they do.. nursing assistants are burgundy, RNs are navy..and the bright red ones are critical care. In my various IV escapades in the past, these people usually show up. They are the people who can get an IV into someone who is just this side of death and has no blood in their veins. If access can be gotten, they can get it. She looked and looked at my veins.. and didn't see anything she wanted to mess with. My mom.. bless her bossy and domineering heart.. then steps in and says that there MUST be another way. She was done seeing me go through this again. Yup, there was another way.. everything by mouth.. and that is what I did. At 1 day out from surgery, I was drinking all my fluids, pain medications, and taking protein. TAKE THAT YOU USELESS IV. Haha. So, the last entire day I was in the hospital, I was completely off an IV and taking everything orally. The rest of the day was uneventful. I slept for most of it, sipped fluids, and walked at least every 4 hours. They have Minute Maid Light there.. which I had not had before. If you haven't had this, you should try it. There are lemonade, orangeade, and cherry lime flavors. Liked em all and bought some for home too!On Friday, I showered.. which was the most awesome shower of my life.. and I was ready to go home. Dr. Kemmeter was out of town that day, so one of the surgeons from his office, Dr. Baker, was the one to see me. He was nice. The PA came first, and then Dr. Baker. Well, here's the bad news. My white count was elevated in the morning labs.. usually a sign of an infection. Nooooooo. They were going to re-do the labs at noon and let me know about going home from there. I had showered, and the nurse had let me dress in my own normal clothes. That always makes you feel better. It was just a waiting game then. Although Dr. Kemmeter was out of town, he called to speak to the nurse about me and got a full report of everything that was going on. Have I mentioned that I love him? Seriously. He is my hero. My mom ended up going home in the afternoon.. she had been there with me for 2 full days, and she does have a business to run. My niece Heather came to visit, and she was ready to take me home if they were ready to discharge me. It was 4pm by this time, and the whole going home thing was not looking good. I had just taken a few sips of Lortab and was asleep.. when the nurse came running in and was screaming she had good news. She stopped mid sentence I guess and asked Heather if she should wake me up. YESSSSS. My white count had gone down, and I was good for discharge. AWESOME. I was outta there, buddy. She gave me my instructions, I got my walking papers, and my drain was taken out. The whole taking the drain out was SO weird.. I could feel it coming out from way down deep, but it didn't hurt at all. I got an rx for Lortab elixir and Prevacid Solutabs (which had a $50 copay.. wow). I have to get a CBC on 4/29/08 to make sure my white count isn't still wonky. End of hospital stay.. and on to recovery at home!

My surgery day.on April 27, 2008 8:30 pm
Well, I have been contemplating about how much to write about my day of surgery. Things really happened very quickly.. then wham.. I was awake in a hospital room in the middle of the night with my mom asleep on a cot beside me. My mom was a lifesaver.. she stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital. Although I am 30 years old, I was really so very grateful to have her there. The morning of surgery, my sister-in-law came to my house to stay for the day so my husband and niece (who is 24) could stay at the hospital with me. We were on our way to Blodgett. Finding the place and checking in was very uneventful. In no time, I was in a gown in a holding room after giving a preop urine sample. We were just joking and waiting to head to the curtained off presurgical area.. no nervousness really yet. I have pictures from here of me in my gown that I will post. They were the most near to being preop as it gets! I was moved to the preop surgical area, and an IV was started. I saw Dr. Kemmeter, his PA, and the anesthesiologist. I got some medicine to calm my nerves (which didn't work haha), and then I was off. I told my niece and my husband that I loved them.. all with huge tears in my eyes. After that, I was brought to the OR and placed on the table. They put some oxygen over my face, and a nurse was holding my hand. They were reassuring me.. and that was the last thing I remember.More later...

I am officially switched!on April 26, 2008 2:00 am
Here I am, three days on the other side of surgery. I am not feeling too bad. I am needing the pain medication to get some sleep, and I can't seem to get comfortable otherwise. That helps with the walking.. I am up and moving around from place to place to try to get into a comfortable spot. Haha. I will post more about the actual surgery time and all that soon.. for now, I am going to sip some water and rest!

Preoperative diet, day 9.on April 19, 2008 9:50 am
I had a major freakout last night. I was inches away from canceling my surgery. All the little nagging fears I have just came running to the surface and started chewing at my brain. I was near tears and just.. stressed. I ended up posting on the DS board to find out if this type of thing was normal. Seems it is. Haha. I am much calmer now and back to just really wanting and working toward my goals. The preop diet has been really fine. I don't mind it too much. I was a little bit scared. I had heard that some people just really hate it and cannot eat it. It's not gourmet, that's for sure.. but it gets the job done. I am just getting a little bored with all of the same stuff all the time. I am going to save liquids and just have complete liquids on the day prior to surgery. I want to make sure I am all cleaned out, if ya know what I mean. The hospital called to register me on Thursday morning, and then the surgical nurse called Friday morning to get an extensive health history and ask me every question under the sun. I am glad they do that though, makes for a safer surgery I would think. When I had my appointment at MMPC a week ago Wednesday, the PA had told me I was the first surgery of the day. When the nurse called yesterday, it is now scheduled for 12:05 in the afternoon. Here I was gearing up for an early morning, and it's not until the afternoon. That's fine with me though, as long as I get the surgery sometime that day. That's about it for now.. just eating my bland food, drinking a LOT, and waiting for Wednesday. Wish me luck!Also, we have unlimited texting.. and my husband will be sending updates via text messages. If you would like to be added to the list of numbers, let me know! My angel is Frozen_Peach.. we will be texting her updates to post too.

Preoperative diet, day 6.on April 15, 2008 6:01 pm
Well, things are going pretty good. I have hardly been hungry at all on the diet. They said that because you are getting the protein you need, your hunger would be reduced. I didn't believe that until I experienced it myself. Haha. I went to my PCP yesterday for my yearly "exam".. though it has been much longer than a year since my last one. I didn't have insurance, and those things are not cheap yanno. Pretty uneventful. My doctor did ask about the DS surgery. She had never heard of it. She is pretty open minded about things, so I am confident she will still be able to take care of me after surgery. She has been with me through a lot in the past few months and stuck with me, so I am sticking with her too. I was so excited yesterday at the appointment because I was down 13 pounds from the day I had my preop class just last Wednesday. I mean.. 13 pounds in 5 days.. that's awesome, right? haha. WELL.. I went to see the PA at the surgeon's office today to make sure I was progressing on the diet.. and guess what? On their scale, I am down 20 POUNDS. AWESOME. I was a little worried going into it because I have been losing weight for 6 months, so I didn't have the "easy" beginning weight to lose. It has been fine though, really. We went to a local park today and walked on a trail that is 1 mile and 163 feet long.. they have the distance posted. My niece (who is 22) was telling me how great it was to be doing something like that with me. I have been basically limited to SHORT walks in the past before any weight loss.. so this is new to me and to everyone around me. I have been getting in 150 grams of protein and at LEAST 64 ounces of water per day. Only 8 days until surgery now.

Preoperative diet, day 3.on April 12, 2008 6:46 am
Well, the diet is going... okay. The first day, Thursday, I had some issues with low blood sugar. There are hardly any carbohydrates in the Bariatrix food. My Lantus had already been cut in half down to 18 units, but it was still too much. I am now down to 9 units. My blood sugar has been hovering right around 100, so that is better than plummeting to 70 and below. When I called on Friday to report my blood sugars to MMPC, I mentioned.. kind of just in passing.. that I was also having some issues with having to stay REALLY close to the bathroom, if you know what I mean. I figured it was normal. This is a low residue diet, and there is no bowel prep before surgery.. so I just assumed this was basically a 2-week cleanout. I work from home, so it's not as big of an issue for me as it would be for some. I was just dealing with it. WELL.. the nurse called me back and said they were switching me to Carnation Instant Breakfast Sugar-Free. I was like.. ok.. whatev. So, my mother-in-law went to the store and got like 3 boxes of it for me since I was told I have to drink it 5 times a day. Once I had it in my hand.. I saw that there were 27 carbs PER SERVING plus the milk you have to mix it with. Wow.. I decided to just deal with the Bariatrix food for now until Monday when I can speak to them again. That would be like 130 carbs per day.. that is almost more than I was eating before on my diabetic diet. I want to make sure I lose weight with this so my surgery is not in danger of being canceled. After all this and the money I have paid out of pocket to get here so far.. I would be devastated if I did not end up having surgery.
I have figured out that the liquid agrees with me much better than some of the solid things like the bars and spaghetti or chili. I pretty much like everything.. I mean.. as much as you can like protein-filled food. It's not killing me. I have tomato soup, hot chocolate, 3 types of drinks, hmm.. there is some more liquid but that is all I can think of off the top of my head. I go back on Tuesday, so I am planning to pick up some more liquids then.
Thursday, I got in 104 ounces of water. Friday was a little tougher since I was feeling a little worse, so I only got in about 70. That is all in addition to the liquids used to mix the supplements for meals, so I am swimming right now. Haha.
I have also started walking 1/2 a mile around my block. It's been pretty easy. I think I need to increase it so it's a little more challenging.

Hi. Welcome to your stressed out life. on April 9, 2008 4:01 pm
Wow. I need some stress relief. Update on my neck. The pain is still there, but nothing as severe as it was a couple days ago. Valium helps me relax enough to sleep at night and makes wearing my CPAP mask tolerable with the headgear around the back of my head and all. Definitely improving, albeit slowly. My stress level is at about a 10+ right now. We are in the midst of trying to get our own house instead of throwing more money away on renting a house at $1,000+ a month. Needless to say, a zero-down loan does not necessarily mean ZERO DOWN. It means.. hey, we still need money you don't have, so get it from somewhere. I think it would have been much smarter to be dealing with surgery OR house hunting.. but not both at the same time. I had my LONG presurgical group appointment today along with meeting with the PA. It was actually very beneficial and so informative. There were 5 other people in the class that are all having surgery in 2 weeks.. so it was kinda nice to see other people right exactly in the same place as me. There was actually another DS patient in the class! I did not expect that. There were a LOT of questions answered and so much information was given. They also give you everything all printed out so you can look at it all later. It's like cramming a weeks' worth of information into 2 hours of talking. They are participating in some study where they ask for your information to be released to be added to a database. WELL, I read the whole entire paper that accompanied it.. and wow. They want access to ALL medical records, could possibly release them to a 3rd party who they state may not be obligated to ANY confidentiality laws, and there is NO time limit on it. So, basically.. they want access to your medical records to do as they please with them for as long as you live with no explanation of third party entities who may have access to them.. up to and including the FDA and many other agencies such as "government agencies". Uhm.. YEAH.. no. Though I am definitely not trying to hide anything at all.. hello, I am blogging about my medical issues on the internet.. I do not feel comfortable at all with the terms of that little "study", especially the fact that there is no limit on the time frame at all. Anyway.. I was wary, and I did opt out of that. I liked the PA. His name is Randy. He seems like he won't take any crap, but he does know what he is talking about and gets to the point. I also got paper copies of all of my labs so I can keep track of them all.I will be seing my PCP next week too. I am going to get an Advanced Directives form from her and get that filled out. I don't think it's the smartest thing in the world to go under general anesthetic without having something like that in place. I know it would fall to the choice of my husband which is what I want anyway, but it helps to have the legal documentation in place. Ok, wow. My headache is gone now. If you have read this far.. thanks. I hope this helped you as much as it helped me to get it all out. Ha.

Ugh.on April 5, 2008 9:15 am
Well, today is only 18 days until surgery. I start the preop diet on this upcoming Wednesday.I have barely been online at all, or even really doing much of anything. I thought I had a stiff neck, but it turns out it is a neck sprain. Let me tell you, the pain is something else. I finally ended up in the ER Thursday morning. I could barely move my left arm or raise it above waist level. I found THAT out when I was trying to put my hair up as usual, and it felt like someone was stabbing me in the neck. My hand and arm were all shaky and useless. In the ER, they gave me Toradol and Valium. Hallelujah. I was finally getting some relief. I have been taking the Valium they prescribed just at night so I can get comfortable and get some sleep. If I tried to take it while I was working, my reports would look like this.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Haha. That has been getting steadily better a little at a time. Yesterday was Friday, and wow.. did it seem like Friday the 13th.I was merrily working along (typing), and the power for the whole house flickered. CRAP. Work lost. Modem flickered. Fine. Go to inspect. Half the house is still without power, but the upstairs bedrooms and my office were on. Along with the power flicker, there had been a HUGE CRASH like someone ran a car into our living room. Well, it wasn't a car. The neighbors had rented a dumpster, and the HEAVY door slammed into the electrical meter on the side of the house. Long story longer, we were without power for about 10 hours and ended up paying a pretty penny to an electrician to fix it at 10pm on a Friday night. Crisis over though. After 2 visits from Consumers Energy and 1 (expensive) visit from the electrician, our power is back on. Side note.. electricians make a lot of money. I think I am in the wrong business.

Birthday celebrations!on March 30, 2008 4:18 pm
I went out with my husband and some friends for my 30th birthday celebration on Saturday night. It was a fun time. My friends got me a gift card for the store so I can get skinny clothes after surgery. That was so supportive and thoughtful, I thought! I have been recuperating today.. I don't think vodka is considered a preop liquid. Haha. Since I won't be going out for drinks for a long time following surgery, I figured one last time was in order to celebrate the big 3-0. Today, I have 24 days until my surgery. Not long now. We have plans to go out for dinner tomorrow with friends on my actual birthday, and my parents are going to come visit also. Should be a pretty awesome day.

I AM SCHEDULED FOR SURGERY!!!!!!on March 26, 2008 11:34 am
I can't believe it. The scheduler called me first thing this morning. I am scheduled for April 23. I was SHOCKED it was so soon. That is exactly 4 weeks from today. JUST FOUR WEEKS. She also mentioned that I was scheduled to get my gallbladder out at that time too. That is one question I had forgotten to ask the surgeon. Is that common? I think I have heard it is, but since he didn't mention it to me.. I was a little shocked when she said it this morning. Commence the FOUR WEEK FREAK. I also was able to get a smaller mask for my CPAP, and it works like a gem for me now. I guess I have a small face? I dunno. It doesn't seem small to me. Ha. Everything is good with that though. It's really going to happen. I am excited. And scared witless.

News, news, news.on March 25, 2008 11:11 pm
Hope everyone had a great Easter.We went to my mom's. She wanted to hear all about the DS surgery. I was ready for her. She is the ultimate naysayer. I knew all the answers to her questions and then some. She asked if I felt like I was making a selfish decision by putting everyone I love through the fear of me getting surgery. WHAT? I think it would be more selfish not to. I saw family and friends less and less as I gained weight. As I have started losing weight now, I am ready to go visit friends, go out for the evening, and plan activities. If losing 50-60 pounds feels like this, I can't wait to lose more. My life has already changed for the better. Do I feel selfish? Not at all. My obesity is killing me slowly, and I am tired of feeling like this. Today, I called the preoperative coordinator at the surgeon's office again. I was sure that she was just going to tell me the labs were STILL not in. Well, well, well.. color me surprised. THEY WERE THERE! She said she would call me back after she "checked on my insurance" online. Okkaayyy. About 10 minutes later, MMPC called. I was SURE it was her. YEAH.. no. It was the nurse calling. I am low on vitamin B1, vitamin D, and vitamin E. I have to start supplementation ASAP. It won't delay my surgery tho. AWESOME. I have yet to hear from the scheduler again. I will give her a break from my calls for tomorrow and see if she calls me, by some miraculous divine force. Otherwise, I am calling again on Thursday. Uhh.. let's see.. I think that might be all the news to report for now. My 30th birthday is coming up on Monday. YAY! Oh ya, also no news from the mortgage lender either. I mean.. is it really so hard to return phone calls? BLAH. More later.

You have got to be kidding me.on March 22, 2008 3:22 am
So, no updates on the labs that are taking FOR-E-VER.. since yesterday was Good Friday.. and most of the business world stops on that day.It is 6am on Saturday.. I am awake briefly.. and I feel like I am getting a cold. WHAT? I just had the flu a couple weeks ago. No. I don't want a cold. Added to the stress of waiting for the surgeon's office to get in touch with me, I am also waiting to hear from the mortgage lender we are dealing with. That's right.. we are house shopping. I plan to make this a year of big changes.. surgery, new house.. yeah, that should about do it. I have to contact Wright and Fillipis to try yet another mask for my CPAP. This one, though much more comfortable than mask #1, still feels huge and bulky on my face. It also seems like it has a leak somewhere in the connectors to the hose.. which is driving me crazy. Back to sleep for awhile. I have a 12-hour work day today.. then off for 2 days. WOOWOO.Hey, if you're reading this.. make me a friend if we aren't already. Everybody needs friends, baby.

Blah.on March 21, 2008 2:47 am
Well, the freakout was premature.They still have not gotten my labs back. They are calling the lab every day, and I am calling THEM every day at MMPC. Nothing yet. This will be the 9th business day since they were drawn. Is that not some kind of crazy record for length? What the heck. Take a deep breath. Just be patient self.This weekend is Easter. It is my weekend to work, but it is not my holiday to work.. so I will have it off. That is something else to look forward to and focus on. Things with the CPAP are going.. okay. The machine is great.. I just find myself waking up in the middle of the night and taking it off without really knowing what I am doing. I think my inner self secretly hates it. Haha. I didn't add this before.. but at my appointment with the surgeon, I was 10 pounds heavier than the appointment a month before. WHAT? AUGH. THIS is why I want WLS. I have done all the same things, and here I am gaining weight back. My surgery cannot get here soon enough.Keep your fingers crossed for me and my labs.

FREAKING OUT!!on March 18, 2008 8:16 am
I just got off the phone with Nettie, Dr. Kemmeter's preop coordinator. I wanted to find out what else I had to do to get my surgery scheduled.. she is just waiting for my lab work. Once that comes in.. A WEEK LATER.. then she will be calling me to schedule a surgery date.I am so happy, I can't stop smiling.And I think I am starting to freak out a little too. They are really going to slice me up.. and I am CHOOSING this.Wow. I am braver than I thought... and maybe a little hopeful too.Updates will be forthcoming!

Finally.. my appointments with the surgeon and behaviorist!on March 18, 2008 7:38 am
Lots of news to report!
I had my appointment with Dr. Kemmeter. He seems like he knows what he is talking about (thankfully) and really wants his patients to succeed. When I asked him what he thought my target weight should be, he said that he is less concerned about weight and numbers and more concerned about how I feel and if I am satisfied with the results I get from the surgery. I liked that answer. I had my very long list of questions, and he answered them all… and most of them before I asked them! He, of course, said all the things I would expect to hear… the risks of surgery, the strict followup needed afterward, the supplements needed, and the fact that it could possibly be split into 2 procedures. (Let’s hope not.) That would only be for my safety, so if that has to happen, so be it. I feel comfortable with him… and he thought the duodenal switch would be a good choice for me! He also said that he could tell I had done research… yay.
So, next was my visit with the behaviorist, Scott. He seemed nice at first… a little aloof but nice. By the time I was done with him, I was crying like a baby. Haha. At first, he asked all the expected questions about my childhood (briefly), my life now, my marriage, my job, and my overall satisfaction with life. I was a little worried prior to the appointment because I was recently placed on Celexa for anxiety, so I was hoping that would not be an issue. It wasn’t; and, in fact, since I have responded so well to it, he was happy to hear that. About 35-40 minutes into the appointment, he said that I would be approved for surgery by him. YAY!! He then said that anything I said from that point on wouldn’t not affect my approval for surgery. I think he does that to get you to relax and be more honest. If that was his goal, it worked! He asked what had stopped me from pursuing weight loss prior to now… or at least being successful with weight loss. I surprised myself with a very honest answer that had me instantly tearing up. My husband was in the appointment with me too, and he even got a little teary. I said things out loud for the first time that I had only really ever thought to myself and would never have shared before. He only has an hour, but he gets you to open up. I was surprised by that. By the end of the appointment, I was impressed by him. I think he is really good at what he does.
My labs weren’t back yet… the ones I went to have done a WEEK ago. AUGH. I went to a private lab to have them done this time… I should have just gone to a Spectrum lab as I have always done in the past. They usually have them done in 24 hours unless it is something that needs to sit longer or something. Oh well.. I won’t make that mistake again in the future.
Today, I am going to call the preop coordinator to see what else I have to do. I think the only thing left may be to see my sleep doctor and be released by her after using my CPAP for a month.

CPAP update.on March 15, 2008 8:42 pm
So.. my CPAP. I finally got a new mask. The one I was sent home with did not fit well around my nose.. it made marks and just was irritating. It took 4 days to get a different one. This one is a ComfortGel something. Not too bad.. much better than the other one. With the CPAP.. I sort of feel drugged when I wake up, I think. The only thing I can think of is that since my sleep is much deeper, I am feeling it more. I am just not used to such a thing, I guess. I have my visit with my surgeon, Dr. Kemmeter, and with the behaviorist on Monday, March 17th. I will have to make sure to wear GREEN for St. Patrick's day! I can't wait for these visits. It seems like things are crawwlliinnnggg along. I know some people wait a lot longer than me though, so I am grateful.. deep down.

First.. and only.. visit with the nutritionist!on March 10, 2008 8:44 pm
So, I had a big day today!First, the fasting for my lab work didn't happen. I was not feeling all that great, and my blood sugar being low was giving me a raging headache.. so breakfast was in order. No big deal.. I am going first thing tomorrow morning. I had the appointment to get my CPAP machine from the medical supply place. That was fairly uneventful.. the lady showed me how to use it and fitted the mask on me. After I took it off after about 5 minutes.. there were marks on my nose from the mask. She was going to give me a different type of mask, but they were all out of that type. I have to go back tomorrow to get the different one, but she did send me home with the first one to try for the night. I got my distilled water for the humidifer in the machine, and I have cleared my bedside table for the machine. The tubing and mask kind of looks like the contraption jet pilots wear on their faces. I will take a picture. It's actually pretty hilarious looking. The rep at the medical supply place had gotten the results of my sleep study.. and wow. In the 3 hours they did the diagnostic part where I was just sleeping from 11:15-2:15... I had 171 apneic/hypoxic events. It's no wonder I never feel like I get great sleep.. I woke up 171 times in 3 hours! I don't remember any of them. In the 4 hours that I was wearing the CPAP machine the night of the sleep study, I woke up 89 times. That is definitely an improvement.. but I would like to make it less! Ha. I also had my appointment with the nutritionist at MMPC today. The internist had told me she was going to schedule me for 2 appointments at the very least, and they could possibly require 4. I found out when I got there that I was in the system for 4 appointments. I don't have anything against seeing the nutritionist, but the appointments are not covered by insurance.. so it's $50 out of pocket each time. I was on a mission even before I got there to impress the nutritionist with my research beforehand and knowledge of protein requirements, etc. I also brought my meal plan with me from my diabetic teaching that I had about 5 months ago. Once the nutritionist saw this.. she was impressed (yes! mission accomplished!). She asked me if the internist had known that I was on such a plan.. I told her yes, indeed she did. She seemed a little irked and surprised by that. She did some explaining of the protein requirements and also some of the protein supplements and shakes. (Side note, did you know that protein ISOLATE is better than protein CONCENTRATE? There is more bioavailability with the isolate than there is with the concentrate.. so get whey protein isolate. This was something I did not know before today.) She was also pretty knowledgeable about the DS requirements as far as vitamins and things.. which I was happy about. So, after speaking with me and my husband, she determined that one appointment with her was enough pre-op.. and I didn't need to come to see her again until after surgery! Awesome. I was excited about that. She was so friendly and really encouraging.. I liked her a lot. (Her name is Christine, if you want to request her!) I also had some wows today while we were out taking care of shopping and things, but that will have to wait until another post.

Sleep apnea.. confirmed.on March 6, 2008 10:24 pm
I got a call from the sleep center today.. the doctor is prescribing me a CPAP machine. I was pretty sure it was coming.. so I was prepared. Not a big deal. I am hoping I won't need it for long.. and that once I lose some weight, the apnea will improve. I will admit, once I finally did fall asleep with the mask on during my sleep study.. I slept like a baby. I don't really feel like I have problems with not getting enough sleep. I do wake up maybe once or twice a night to use the restroom.. but that is a major improvement from before my diabetes was diagnosed when I was getting up every 90 minutes. (Side note.. if you're peeing a lot, you might be diabetic!) Other than that, I feel like I get some okay sleep. Maybe with the CPAP it will be so amazing, and I just have no idea what I am missing out on? We will see. I called BCBSM to see what they cover for durable medical equipment.. and I hung up knowing less than I did at the beginning of the call. Sometimes when I call, I get an amazing person who knows the answer to all of my questions and really knows their stuff. Other times (today), I get someone who is nice.. but constantly putting me on hold to look things up and really just muddling through. Oh well, even if I have to pay for the entire machine myself, it will be worth it if that is what I have to do to get my DS surgery!

A wow for me!on March 4, 2008 9:42 am
In the early afternoon yesterday, I had an appointment with the dermatologist. (Side note, good news.. the couple of moles I have been worried about are benign! WOOT.) There was horrible traffic getting there, and we were running late to get to the office. Thankfully, it is a small office building with a regular parking lot and not one of the typical huge medical buildings around here with parking ramps and a 2-hour hike to find your destination.. or we would have been REALLY late.So, we get to the building and rush in.. it's a 3 story building, and the office is on the 2nd floor. I looked toward the elevators once.. then turned toward the door to the stairs.. and we RAN up the stairs. I was a tad out of breath at the top as there were like 30 stairs or something.. but still. I passed up the elevator willingly. My husband was ecstatic because he hates elevators.. he usually just deals with it, but in some buildings he would take the stairs while I wait for and take the elevator. NO LONGER. I am going to make an effort to take the stairs all the time everywhere. I might not RUN every time.. but I will use the stairs. If I can get this excited about using the stairs.. I can't wait to see what else changes when I can finally have surgery.

Sleep study completed!on March 4, 2008 8:29 am
I had my sleep study at MMPC last night.. it was pretty painless. I actually did get some sleep.. I was surprised about that. The tech was named Amy, and she was awesome. She was so nice, patient, and seemed really interested in the fact that I was pursuing weight loss surgery. She was skinny as a rail, but she was still interested and supportive. Haha. So, first I had to change into my jammies.. t-shirt and my ELVIS pajama pants. WOOWOO. She commented that I was sleeping with Elvis. Ha. Anyway, then I got hooked up to all the wires and belts. I had wires glued to my face, head/hair, a mic on my neck, and wires taped to my legs. The belts go around your waist and chest.. plus EKG leads too. I watched TV for a few minutes, but I had purposely done a lot yesterday and deprived myself of sleep the night before so I would be sure to get some real sleep there. Amy helped me get situated in the bed with all the wires, and I was ready to sleep (with my own pillow.. glad I brought it, theirs were FLAT). It didn't take me long to fall asleep. Amy had told me that if I had a lot of episodes of apnea/waking up that she would bring in a CPAP for me at 2am to test for the rest of the night. She had let me test it before going to sleep. I really was not confident I could sleep with that contraption on my face.. but other people do it, so I guess it just takes some getting used to, right? She came in to adjust a couple things over the course of the time between 11pm and 2am.. but I was so tired, I barely woke up. Shocker.. at 2am, I was ready to try the CPAP. It has straps that fit around your head, and it has a mask that makes a seal to your face. It took a second to get it adjusted, and it was such a pain with my long hair. They had suggested washing and drying the hair before the test so the leads would stick.. but then my hair was SO squeaky clean and shiny that the mask kept slipping up. One thing.. it was REALLY hard to control the urge to just rip the thing off. It is very big and covers your face.. my anxiety was trying to get the best of me.. but I just breathed deeply and got through it. I was proud of myself for doing that. Once I got that under control and found a comfortable position, I was OUT. I didn't wake up again until Amy was saying my name over the intercom at 6:30am. I had a few papers to fill out after she removed the wires and things.. and I was out of there! I am pretty sure I will be prescribed the CPAP.. but I have to wait for a call from the sleep center in the next couple of weeks to confirm all of the results. I have to wash my hair for the THIRD time since getting home because it still has that glue in it. All in all, it was worth it to get the test out of the way. Prior to a few months ago, I would have been FREAKING OUT at the thought of spending the night away from home and having medical professionals dealing with me. Now, it is a piece of cake. My next appointment is with the nutritionist next week. Slowly but surely, I am getting through the process.

Something not really related to weight loss..on February 29, 2008 8:14 pm
I am headed to a funeral service tomorrow. It's actually not someone I knew very well at all.. but he was gone very unexpectedly. He took his own life. He was an acquaintance that I would say hello to, talk about the weather, nothing too spectacular. It makes me wonder now what sort of thinking he was dealing with, and what problems he was facing.He left behind a family, wife, children, house, pets.. I guess some things just get so bad for people they really don't know what to do or who to turn to.It makes me a little more grateful today for my family and friends, and even the friends I have made on OH who are so supportive. It just has me thinking today.

Off the caffeine for good!on February 28, 2008 2:30 am
It's been a few days now without caffeine, and I am doing great. I was worried about headaches, etc but I haven't had any problems. I think back to a few months ago when I would think nothing of drinking a few Cokes a day and wash them down with a huge Slurpee. Imagine all the sugar, carbs, and calories. It just makes me shake my head now. I am down to just one shot of insulin a day, Lantus at night. When first diagnosed with diabetes in September, I was doing 4 shots of sliding scale insulin AND the Lantus. Getting away from those needles 4 extra times a day is a good motivator to change your eating habits, and QUICK.The duodenal switch surgery, in most cases, is almost instantly a cure for diabetes. I can't wait. I just can't wait.

Getting excited.on February 26, 2008 8:10 am
So.. tell me if you did this.. we were out shopping, and there was a major sale on clothes. Everything was TWO dollars.. so I got a couple shirts and a hooded sweatshirt jacket about 3 sizes too small for me now. I was like.. these are cheap, and I want some motivation. So, a short term goal I have now is to fit into my cheap $2 clothes. Haha.MMPC called yesterday. I have two nutritionist appointments scheduled, one for March 10th and one for March 18th. They are not covered by insurance and cost $50 each. A small price to pay to get to my goal of surgery! I have a personal desire to be all done with these appointments and be in the approval process by my 30th birthday on 3/31. I think it can happen. I would love to be scheduled for surgery well before the summer.I want to thank everyone for the blog comments and well wishes. It is so amazing to have some support while going through all of this from people who have been through it and completely understand. I have a very supportive family, and my husband.. well, he is just the bee's knees. I don't know how I got so lucky to have someone like him in my life, but I am continually grateful.

Interesting change of events.. on February 22, 2008 12:06 pm
Well.. here's an interesting update. The appointments that I had scheduled on March 6th just did not work out with my schedule. I work 12-hour days on Thursdays.. so it was just not practical. I called to reschedule for a Monday or Tuesday.. and Dr. Foote was not available for QUITE some time on those days.. he has surgeries scheduled for most of them. The scheduler did state that Dr. Kemmeter has appointments open starting on the 17th of March.. so.. I am going to give Dr. Kemmeter a try! My basis for choosing Dr. Foote had been that he was the surgeon conducting our orientation session and seemed knowledgeable, etc. I have spoken to patients of Dr. Kemmeter as well, and they all seem to love him. He has great credentials too. It's worth a shot to see if I feel the same way. I guess if I get a bad vibe or feel uncomfortable about the whole thing, I could schedule with Dr. Foote later. (I don't see that happening.) They both are affiliated with MMPC which is a Center for Excellence.. so I am confident in the abilities of both of them.Also, I have given up ALL caffeine. I had pretty much gotten away from it already, but I still love my iced tea. At the suggestion of the internist, I am doing away with all of it. Next on my list is getting rid of carbonated beverages totally.. but I need to work up to that one. Ha. I am also making a conscious effort to drink at LEAST 64 ounces of water a day. I want to get in the habit now so it is not such a change later. Water is good for ya anyway, and I happen to LOVE a good glass of COLD water with ice to chew on. Bad habit, I am an ice chewer. I think this is actually able to be passed on from family members.. my dad is a maniac ice chewer and does it ALL the time.. I mean, constantly while watching TV, doing anything really. I digress. So, here's to my first caffeine-free day.

Internist appointment!on February 19, 2008 4:36 pm
Well, my appointment with Dr. White was today. First of all, the weather was HORRIBLE. It took us forever to get there, but we were on time.I was weighed first.. and I am down another 10 pounds. YAY! They did my Tanita body scale measurements also. Based on that, I am slightly dehydrated. My BMI is 63.3. My height is 5'7''.. WHAT? I am shrinking every time I get measured. I thought I was 5'9'' for years. At my PCP in September, I was measured at 5'7.5''.. now I am 5'7''.. ugh. Since July, I have lost 55 pounds as of today. Dr. White said that was great, as it would mean my liver would be smaller and make surgery easier for the surgeon with more space in the abdominal cavity. She asked which surgery I was interested in. I told her the BPD/DS, which also happened to be the one that was highlighted on a placard thing in the office. She said that I could potentially be receiving the surgery in 2 separate procedures. AUGH. This is not the news I want. I will ask the surgeon about it further. I had some questions about the procedure and the hospital stay.. she didn't have a lot of answers in relation to most of that. Well, the answer she had was.. "keep that question and ask the surgeon". My EKG was normal. Good news. The nurse giving the EKG ripped the lead off my left wrist and bruised it instantly. Am I a wimp or what? All in all, the visit was not bad. Everyone was nice. I do have to attend 2 visits with the nutritionist so I know about the eating requirements postop as far as protein, etc. I guess I would rather have too much information than not enough. So.. I have to schedule the 2 nutritionist visits, and I have my appointment with the surgeon and behaviorist on March 6th. Things are moving along!

Good news and.. other news.on February 18, 2008 1:57 pm
The good news is.. my appointment with Dr. Foote's internist, Dr. White, is tomorrow morning! The other news.. well, I had to reschedule my sleep study. I still have a lingering cough, and I don't want that to interfere with my sleep pattern (and believe me, it is.). It is scheduled now for the night of March 3rd, so not too far away.. just 2 weeks. That is still before my appointment with the surgeon as well, so I am sure it will still be fine. There is an ice storm here today. Things thawed over the weekend with temperatures of 40 degrees.. now it is below freezing and snowing on top of the melted snow, turning it all to ice. A good day to stay home and avoid all the psycho drivers. I am hoping most of it is cleared up in the morning so I can make it safely to my appointment. (All about the appointment, you know.)

Feeling a LOT better today!on February 16, 2008 5:01 pm
I have the weekend off work.. awesome. I am getting over the flu. It was only really bad for about 2-1/2 days. I think I was right about the flu shot making it go away a little sooner. John did not have a shot, and he is about as recovered as I am.. except he started 3-4 days sooner. I put a new avatar up today... I am smiling. I posted and someone said that I looked sad in my previous picture.. that is really not the case, so I needed a change! Besides, my parents paid good money for my straight teeth, so I should show them off, right? I have been researching and printing things to get prepared for my visit with the internist on Tuesday morning. I want to impress her with my preparedness (is that a word?). I am hoping things will go smoothly.

Ugh.on February 14, 2008 4:41 am
So much for hoping my flu shot would save me from the epidemic. It didn't. The coughing.. oh, the coughing. I think it actually is not as bad as some. Maybe the flu shot made it LESS horrid. Now it just feels like I swallowed a few razor blades. Fluids, fluids, fluids. I did take some nighttime cold medicine that knocked me out the other night. I'm not sure how much it helped, but it was nice to get a few hours of sleep. Not much else going on. I am anxiously awaiting my sleep study and internist appointment next week. I am hoping I am 100% better by then.

Does someone love you more than you love yourself?on February 11, 2008 10:41 pm
I have been with my husband for 10 years. I was much thinner when we met, but by no means skinny. He is not a small guy either, and that is great with me. From the first day we met, we were inseperable. I have probably gained 150 pounds in these 10 years. He has never said one thing to me about my looks, other than compliments of course. He looks at me with the same love in his eyes as the day we were married. I can honestly say that I see more love in his eyes than I have felt for myself in a long time. He is supportive in everything I do. When I found out I was diabetic, he changed the way he ate too. He didn't have to do that.. but he wanted to. (Which, by the way, he has lost about 30-40 pounds too.) When I was against getting WLS at first.. he again was supportive and said that we would keep on losing together as we had been. When I changed my mind soon after and wanted to attend the surgical center orientation, he went with me. Now, when I call him to computer 10 times a day to look at an article or someone's before and after pictures, he is interested and attentive. He has been with me through gaining weight, developing panic attacks, recent hospitalizations, and now is with me again on the journey for WLS. I never take for granted for a minute that he has been everything I needed when I didn't know I needed it and my greatest fan and supporter. If you have someone in your life like this, give them an extra hug. A mother, father, husband, wife, sister, boyfriend, friend.. who knows.. let them know you appreciate what they do for you. It means a lot to them. Thank you, John.. for being my everything and making me your everything.

Update and a thank you.on February 11, 2008 5:36 am
Today is not the greatest day. John has the flu.. he is so weak.. too weak even to whine. I was supposed to have a dermatologist appointment today, but he is too weak to leave the house; and I really can't leave him when he is feeling so bad. The weather outside is horrible. The wind chills are down to like -20 or something with blowing and drifting snow. It is supposed to snow more tonight and early tomorrow too. The plus side is that with my recent weight loss, I can actually take care of John, clean, etc. and not be tired in the least. I had a flu shot this year and so far have no signs of getting sick. (knock on plastic)I wanted to thank everyone who has been so helpful, honest, and open about their WLS experiences. It has made a world of difference to speak with people that have been through things. Thank you so much.

The moment when I knew I needed a change.on February 8, 2008 9:01 pm
I knew I needed to do something about my weight.. not when I was diagnosed with diabetes.. but when we had a major loss in our family. My niece was 3 years old and passed away. She was special to us. We knew she would not have a long life, but we did not know it was going to be so short either. I saw her nearly every day of her life and cared about her more than I could even describe. When things were being put together for the funeral and pictures were being gathered.. I was not in even one of them with her. Not even one. I get tears in my eyes even thinking about it now. I avoided the cameras at all costs.. and why? Because I didn't like how I looked in pictures. She didn't care what I looked like. She loved me.. and I don't have one picture of us together now. That was a hard lesson to learn, and I will never forget how it makes me feel. So, what really wanted to make me have a better life was a 3-year-old that changed me forever.

Things are already moving along.. on February 6, 2008 8:11 pm
Well.. I have my appointments scheduled with the internist, the surgeon, and the behaviorist. The first appt is 2/19/08. Pretty soon. I had heard from people that they sometimes have to wait months to get the initial appt.. so I was pleasantly surprised that I don't have to wait so long. I can't believe I am excited about doctor visits. Just 6 months ago, if someone would have told me that, I would have told them they were crazy. I was DEATHLY afraid to go to the doctor.. I mean panic attack status. I had to get over that quick when I was admitted to the hospital for a raging infection and diagnosed with diabetes. I saw doctors, nurses, residents, interns, dieticians.. you name it, I saw one! That was only in a 3-day stay too.. then I was set up with an internal medicine doctor.. who I LOVE. She has made things a lot easier for me. I think most of my fear was honestly being judged. I don't want to be made to feel inferior, stupid, dirty, or bad because I am overweight.. and that is generally the impression I have gotten in the past from most doctors. I think obesity is one of the last things that it is okay to be prejudiced about, frankly.. but that is a whole other rant. Haha. So, I think I probably have at least 1 visit every week with some doctor, clinic, or something of that manner. It's just common for me now.. I think I am kind of proud of myself for just getting past things and doing good things for myself instead of letting my anxiety get in the way.

I hope for a lot of things.on February 4, 2008 9:55 pm
Today, I hope that things will get better. I hope that I will be able to move forward with a surgical weight loss procedure in the near future. I hope that it will be everything I want it to be. I hope that I will have more energy and be happier in general. I hope I will feel healthier and BE healthier. Today was my very first contact with the MMPC surgical center. I went to the surgical weight loss orientation. Also, today, I had my first appointment with the Sleep Disorders Center @ MMPC as well. My doctor is Dr. Nancy Hausman, and I just loved her the minute I met her. It happened by chance that she is my doctor as my PCP picked her for me. She took one look at my throat and said.. "oohhh.. Mallampati III." I am familiar with this and knew it was a fairly significantly compromised airway. She recommended a sleep study which is scheduled for a couple of weeks from now. I told her that I had the first class for WLS, and she seemed really excited about it. She told me a few things about it that related to sleep and also my general health. All in all, it was a productive day. John was with me all day, of course. He is so supportive. <3